What a difference a week makes!
He had fun this week, just like he did the last two weeks – the difference was confidence. He had chosen to practice in the bathtub every chance he could – and when he got into the pool, he was ready. Last week he wasn’t crazy about taking the floaty off – this week it just held him back. We could absolutely see the realization on Brendan’s face that he was SWIMMING! It looked a little something like this:
This boy knows what he wants to do, and when he puts his mind to something there is no stopping him. I’m so proud of him. For swimming, of course – but even more, for working hard on something that he really wanted to do, and for seeing the results of that hard work.
Similar to last week, he didn’t nap yesterday. Swim lesson days are just too exciting for naps. So like last week, our little swimmer passed out on the drive home. He was already showered and in his PJ’s, so daddy just transferred him into his bed. He woke up a few times during the night, which has not been his normal pattern recently. The third time he came around to gently nudge me awake, rather than going back to tuck him in, I scooped him into our bed. As he snuggled in close between Mommy and Daddy he said, “Mommy – I had a bad dream.” “I wasn’t a baby anymore – I growed up!” It got me. All the milestones and growth he is doing – it’s so exciting, but also a little sad to watch my little man growing up. It was a sobering realization to learn that at least on some level, it weighs on him as well. I promised him that he was always going to be just the right age, at every age – and that of course, forever and ever, he would always be my baby. Then I assured us both that (at least for now), the “bad dream” was over, and we snuggled into the space between baby and growed up boy.
As he drifted right back into sleep, I watched the first rays of sun start to warm the sky and wondered how his growing up would look. I thought back to the different stages of my life – times where I felt carefree, and times that felt like they would never end. I wondered at what age he would look around and realize he was where he was always meant to be. It took me 40 years to find that place, but it was worth every twist and turn to get there, and for the rest of my life, I know I’m home.
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P.S. It’s picture day!! Here was his ‘practice’ at home this morning in his nice shirt and his “hard pants” (jeans)
And I am lucky enough to have a mole in the teacher’s lounge, so here is my ‘growed up’ boy posing for his picture:
It always gives me a special thrill to get to see how he looks when I’m not in the room. They always comb his hair in funny ways, but the expression on his face, and his little hands and his crossed legs are just killing me with cuteness. (sidenote cute: when i was tucking him in last night, he said in a very sleepy voice, “Mommy – will you scratch my toe?”. I was happy to do so.)
P.P.S. I went down to visit and he showed me his ‘picture smile’ and we cuddled and played a bit. I had to go, and he didn’t want me to – but instead of whining or protesting, he thought a minute and said, “okay mom.” I gave him extra hugs and told him I’d finish up as soon as I could. I was almost to the door when I heard him call, “MOM!!!!” I turned around expecting to hear one last plea to stay, but instead, he looked up at me and yelled as loudly as he could, “I LOVE YOU!!!”. I ran back for kisses. And as I walked back to my next meeting with a spring in my step and a smile on my face, I realized that even though I always thought she was making it up, what my mom always said is true: hugs, kisses, I love you’s really are the very best gift.