I’ve been feeling ‘busy’ lately. I don’t know why, exactly – things picked up at work a bit, and there are lots of exciting things to plan for at home, as well as the usual chores and the yearning to do some deep late spring cleaning. But ultimately I know that busy is a state of mind. It’s a perspective that I am in complete control of. I’ve been talking to Rob about the summers of my childhood – the long days on the calendar that seemed to go on forever. The opportunity to be ‘bored’ which presented the opportunity to create new fun. Craft projects that took days to complete, new games to play, adventures and exploring and s’mores, swimming and sprinklers and tanlines and freckles, long road trip vacations, books to read and write, vegging out in front of the tv for a while, collecting things, sleeping in and not having to be anywhere, bare feet and the smell of sunscreen – sea air and rollercoasters, lemonade stands and a little spending money, staying up way past bedtime, bbq’s and koolaid and homemade ice cream and popsicles dripping down my elbow – watching the sun set, camping out in the back yard to look at the stars. Freedom to stretch out and breathe. Space to form new ideas and perspectives on the world, time off from the normal routine. That’s what I want for Brendan. Or that’s what I want to re-live through Brendan. Both are true, I think.
So many moments I want to collect up and put in jars to open again and experience later – after Brendan has outgrown another ten shoe sizes, when his summers are spent out with his friends rather than begging Mommy to play with him. I love when he says, “actually”. I love the way he says it, but I also love that he uses at the most perfect moments. He saw a picture of someone sneezing and said, ‘Mommy – he’s bless-you-ing!’. He went to Charlie’s graduation recption (graduation from the daycare at school, into kindergarten) and Charlie said, “Brendan, do you want to come meet Teacher Sherri’s daughter? She’s a TEENAGER!” Brendan responded with a very adult look on his face and a matching wave of his hand, “Okay, but I can’t stay TOO long.” He reminds me at times that even though he is a big boy, “I’m still small, Mommy”. He will not go to sleep – but as we sit in the dark magic happens – he calls one foot Spiderman and the other foot Superman – and they play and talk and have adventures. Or he tells me stories of school – tells me how Teacher Kelly says, “Oomph” and that it’s what you say when you are getting up. Or tells me about “San Diego” even though he has never heard about it at home – he tells me “it’s a store where they have lots of animals”. Sometimes Mister independent pushes me away, but most of the time if I try and leave he tells me, “No, Mommy – I love for you to stay here”. I love all of it. And I want to slow down and enjoy all of it more. To remember that’s my choice to make.
He took his first ride on a pony – made more exciting by his favorite stories of “Trigger”, Daddy’s made up horse. Trigger and Brendan and Daddy go on all kinds of adventures while often times Mommy is “at the pretzel store”. Brendan made up his own horse and named him “Trigger 2”. He’s dark blue. Brendan is endlessly asking for Trigger stories, and I have only heard Daddy try to dodge the request on two occasions.
Daddy is full of magic – for Father’s Day I asked Brendan questions about Daddy to make into a gift, and one of the things he told me is that the thing Daddy loves most about him is that they go on adventures. I think that is probably true. This weekend we went up to have breakfast at our second favorite spot, and to get the boys haircuts (and lollipops because they were both good…) and then they went out to visit the inlet of water right near there where they always visit while Mommy pops into her favorite little store. They always look around for rocks to throw in, but because this is a paved section of downtown, they never find any. But this time, Daddy had a surprise. He had collected up a whole bag of rocks from around our neighborhood, and brought them so that Brendan could throw rocks in the water. And that is the perfect illustration of why I love this man. From the moment I met him, I knew he would be that kind of father. I know Brendan will remember many things about his Dad – and most likely he will never even be surprised that Daddy has collected and carted a whole bag of rocks with him to wherever they are going. Because Daddy will always do that. But some day, he will realize that being able to take Trigger stories and bags of rocks and a great many other magical things for granted is the greatest gift of all. I know this, because I now appreciate my amazing Dad even more for all the things he let me take for granted.
It is suggested that Kamagra should be taken 45 moments before the sex-related intercourse as it gives a preferred viagra levitra cialis result. Menopause- This is the time if your physique undergoes a cialis 10 mg hormonal shit. The blue pill has been shown viagra buy india to treat pulmonary arterial hypertension and also the advised dosage is 1 20mg tablet taken thrice a day. As soon as it in administered in the human body it starts to function by filling the penis with blood when side effects for cialis erection occurs.
They interviewed each child at Charlie’s totally amazing graduation ceremony – 4 questions. Tell everyone your name, how old are you, what is your favorite class memory, and what do you want to be when you grow up? Only one child out of more than 20 responded that they wanted to be a Mommy. And even she wanted to be a “rockstar mommy”. As far back as I can remember, a Mommy was all I ever wanted to be. I don’t know what Rob wanted to be when he grew up, but I’m certain that this is what he was born to do.
