Before I head to bed, and also before it becomes Monday, I just wanted to write myself a few notes on the weekend. We traveled down to Cupertino for an exciting event: My parents 50th wedding anniversary. It was a pleasure to celebrate with them, and to remember highlights from 42 of the 50 years I’ve spent in their marriage. My Mom loves to tell the story that when I was about Brendan’s age, I put an arm around each of them and said, ‘I’m so glad we got married!’. And I am. I also love the story of how they met – it was a blind date set up by various people over a long period of time. Awesome. We decided to take a little family trip and stay at the hotel where we stayed after Rob and I got married. It’s about 5 minutes from my folks, so it works out nicely for many reasons.
Saturday was also my 9 year cancer survival anniversary. When these yearly markers started rolling around, they were a big deal. The first year, we took our postponed honeymoon, and I had a couple inches of hair that I was pretty proud of. The next years brought extravagant gifts form my husband like diamond earrings and a trip to Miami. This year my husband gave me a beautiful bouquet, and I loved it. I loved sitting at the wine hour at our hotel, in the same spot where we used to sit during chemo – where I would watch other brides walking by and long to be living my wedding day over again. Or the days just beyond chemo where we talked and dreamed – about how and where and when we would ever afford a house, about what we wanted our marriage to be – and most importantly, about how we would start our family. There really wasn’t ever anything as important as that question. And as I’ve said a million times, if I had only known that my path was leading to Brendan, I would have smiled the whole way through. I’ve cried more tears, both happy and sad, in that wine hour spot. So this visit, it was nice to just sit with my husband, drink a little wine, and not talk about a damn thing.
And Brendan had fun with all of it. He liked the hotel, and the lobby with the fish, and the fountain for wishing, and the ‘medium pool’. On the way down he cried because he wanted to see Grandma and Grandpa, and today he cried when we left the hotel. He likes Cupertino too. He sure loves his Grandma and Grandpa – and aside from the treats he has come to almost expect when he visits them, he was presented with a very special gift – Grandpa had made him a wagon. A beautiful wagon that he designed himself, and that will be an heirloom for generations to come.
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Oh, and while Rob and Brendan were out for a walk, he had to stop for a quick poop break.
He’s still not pooping in the potty – but he only very rarely has a peepee accident!
We got home, and we didn’t get all our chores done. But I’m guessing we’ll somehow survive the week. And I haven’t decorated B’s seasonal shelf for the past two holidays, but he still seems to be making it through his days. Instead we rode bikes, and blew bubbles and made matches of all the fish that stick to the side of the bathtub, and of course – we played with race cars. And when it was time for sleep, B wanted all of us to read a story together in his bed. He told each of us where to sit and when Daddy started reading the book he selected, he did his Brendan thing and wanted to know, “what’s that guys name?”. Most of the characters he asks this about are not named, but we’ve learned that B likes it better if they have a name. So we make one up. Tonight I offered, “Tyrone”. Daddy laughed at my choice, and Brendan laughed and said, “noooo Mommy, it’s not Tiny Rone!”. Then Daddy and I both laughed hysterically. And then Brendan did a perfect imitation of his parents and said, “Oooooookkkkkkayyyy… caaaaaalm your body. It’s not time to play anymore. Take a deeeeep breath.” This did not help me stop laughing. He is SO funny. And SO fun. And I love being with him every second of every day – no matter where I am or what I’m doing. No matter if it takes longer to get things done, no matter if I’m exhausted. Every single day I don’t think it’s possible to love him any more than I do, but each day he expands my heart to hold more love and more joy.