It’s been a tough couple of weeks at work. Lots of changes going on, friends and colleagues and even people who I hired, losing their jobs. It’s not the same company it was last year. I get very sad for this sudden jolt in peoples lives. I worry for the unexpected and unwelcome changes this brings to the plans they had. But I am also reminded of my lowest low – when cancer hit and “took away my ability to become a mother”. Little did I know that cancer came into my life not to take motherhood from me, but to deliver me to my son. If only I could have seen the future – but there were lessons I needed to learn in faith and endurance. I hope those effected this week will experience similar hindsight.
Changes at home too – Brendan continues to amaze us with new words and talents. While Daddy was away on a short trip, I taught him how to share secrets, and we giggled as we whispered in each others ear. On the way to school each morning, he tells me when we are coming up to the “tunnel”, when we are on the “bridge”, when we pass “scoops” (excavators and other utility vehicles), when he sees “Mommy’s Car” (cars that look just like Mommy’s). He loves to ask me to roll down the window – and he wants EVERY window in the car rolled down. Then he puts his head back and has a look of sheer joy on his face as the wind blows through his hair. He also shares his crackers, bottle and binkie with his pal Brobie. Such a nice friend.
One of my hardest changes – he is also outgrowing another round of clothes. The other day I put a shirt on him that I could swear just yesterday he was swimming in – now it’s too small. The reminder is almost too vivid that my baby is growing so fast. But which of his new changes would I trade in to keep him small?
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Rob and I are both very fortunate to have jobs. I don’t want to take that lightly. But even more importantly, we have each other – we have friends and family and a brown dog. And we have a son who is growing each day, reminding us that while change is hard, the consequences can be wonderful.
(Pictures are from my morning walks with Chelsea this week – and some camellias that the gardeners at work had pruned away and were going to throw out. They make my office a happier place.)