I have always focused on the importance of integrity – in the people I know, and as a quality I want to teach our son. I define integrity as doing the right thing, even if nobody would know, or when nobody is watching. Thanks to a few sources, including our friends Rick and Lynna with their “House Rules” posted in crayon on the fridge, I have realized a new word that needs to have a place in our family values: bravery.
I have to admit that I never gave bravery a lot of thought. I knew it was a good thing, but I sort of dismissed it as a quality Superman and knights and fancy people posess. Now I think I’m starting to understand what bravery really is: bravery is for heroes. Perhaps bravery is both the opposite and compliment of integrity – it’s doing the right thing even if everyone will know, or when everyone is watching. Sometimes that might mean getting up in front of a bunch of people and giving a speech, or making a big play at a critical time in the game, or playing a solo on stage. Those things might feel tough or important, but they are sort of the easy part of bravery. The harder part of bravery is holding strong to your values in front of everyone at school, even if nobody else does. Bravery is always telling the truth, even if the truth isn’t the answer you know your parents or your teacher want to hear. Bravery is befriending the little girl sitting alone in the cafeteria. Bravery is telling the other kids to stop when they are making fun of someone. Bravery is using your first pick to choose the person who is usually picked last.
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While integrity is the inward expression of values – bravery is the outward expression of values. The people I admire most have both. And if both bravery and integrity are rooted first in kindness – to the people we know and love, to people we just come in contact with, and to strangers we may never meet – that is my definition of a super hero. The cape is just a bonus.
