I haven’t taken as many pictures the past couple of days. I’ve been trying to figure out why. We have had no shortage of beautiful moments – and Brendan just keeps getting cuter (of course). We got to visit at Rob’s work, and saw lots of happy people who gushed over our baby. We even had lunch with George (at another table) in the cafeteria. But I only took a couple pictures. This morning we went to the park and got to see some very special friends who we’ve shared many ups and downs with – friends that we probably never would have met if it weren’t for Chelsea. As Brendan snuggled right in to their arms, they said that they thought the pictures they had seen of him did not do him justice. I forgot to bring my camera, so no pictures of that first meeting. Darnit!
I keep saying to Rob that I think Chelsea is sad. I’m worried that as happy and good as she is with the baby, that maybe she is feeling some of her routines disturbed, or that she isn’t the sole center of our attention anymore.
I think I’m projecting. Rob goes back to work next week and I’m starting to feel sad about the end of this joint baby leave. It certainly hasn’t been a ‘vacation’, but it’s the first time Rob and I have had this much dedicated time with each other. When we add our son into that – and our dog – it’s a recipe for perhaps something even better than vacation. If that is possible… I do love Aruba. Sure, there has been less sleep, more responsibility, more laundry… but it doesn’t feel like ‘work’. This is the stuff I love. I may have less ‘me time’, but I have more US time. It’s a real and intense feeling of FAMILY. And it’s what I’ve always wanted.
I really like my job, and I value my job. But sometimes I feel like it claims the best of me – it takes its share of hours first, and then I get the few leftover hours in the day to do the things that are most important to me. So in a way, even with all the extra responsibility of having a baby, it has felt like we have way more hours in the day to spread out these important things. Top priorities are easy when we are all home like this.
I was bustling around with Brendan in my arms – getting a few things done before we left the house, and suddenly I looked down and he was staring up at me with those big blue eyes. I stopped right there and sat down and enjoyed my baby. I want to freeze these moments in time. All of them. And that is a sure sign for me of pure happiness. So instead of being sad that these early days are ending, I want to sink in deep – to snuggle in and enjoy life. And maybe I can keep that feeling alive even after we return to work and the pace heats up again.
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And maybe those puppy eyes aren’t sad, but just mellow. Maybe she is trying to teach me that its okay to relax – to slow down and enjoy the contentment of our family being together.
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