The Gianino Family

I haven’t looked at this actual site in a long time. It’s a bit of a mess. I mainly use instagram these days because it’s so easy to capture little moments on the fly – but even those haven’t been updating since Christmas.

But for now, there is a story that is too long to write in my book of Brendan quotes, and too important to forget.

Today I arrived at school to pick Brendan up and he was playing with a boy who is not one of the usual suspects. I didn’t even know this boys name. I later learned that his name is Jeremiah – and that he’s a kindergartner. Brendan happily explained to me that he *just* learned that Jeremiah likes basketball! And really, what else matters.

When I walked up to the basketball court they stopped shooting for a second and Brendan said, “Ohhhh – Hi Mom!”
Jeremiah quickly replied, “See! I told you your mom was here!”
Brendan said, “yeah, but you said my mom was WHITE.”
As he said this, he looked over at me and laughed a little bit as if to say ‘can you believe this kid thought you were white?’
At the same time, Jeremiah looked over at me with a questioning look as if to say, ‘can you believe your son doesn’t think you’re white?’
Brendan said, “Well her TEETH are white.”
To which Jeremiah responded, “Yeah, everyone’s teeth are white.”

And then we moved onto more important things. Namely basketball. And who could do the best Curry layup.

Perhaps it should be noted that Jeremiah has black skin – though I’m not sure it matters in this story.

The usual suspects got released from their class and came out to play – and Brendan made sure his new friend felt included. But gradually Jeremiah went off to do something else. I called over to say goodbye and said that it was nice to meet him.
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Before long he was back.
“What is YOUR name? he said.
I told him my name was Lori. But added that he could always just call me Brendan’s Mom.
He told me it was nice to meet me, and seemed to look extra hard at my teeth as we shook hands.

When we got home, I asked Brendan to fill me in on the story.
Turns out there wasn’t anything that I had missed. It happened just as they said it did.
I asked the next obvious question, “So what color am I?”
Brendan took a good look at me and said, “Pink.”
“and blue, and green, and brown and peach.”
“and a little bit of white.”
He named off the color of my shoes, my pants, my shirt, my jacket. He named the color of my eyes, my hair, my peach skin – he doesn’t think of me as “white” any more than he thinks of Jeremiah as “black”. When he described Jeremiah later he referred to him as “that nice kindie kid who plays basketball”.

Then he added, “I think he thought you were white because you smile a lot.”
And my heart grew an extra size right then and there.

I will admit that the past few years I have been a bit scroogey. Maybe not so much on the outside – I still did all the Christmasy things, but on the inside I was more stressed than joyous. All I wanted to do was slow down and enjoy the cozy parts of the season, but I did not do that. There was a part of me that stopped looking forward to the holiday season. This year we got our tree the day after Thanksgiving – at the lot down the street where we got our tree the first year Brendan was born. Brendan fell in love with a big tree, and I had to agree it was beautiful. Rob put the lights on and then we called it a day. The next morning Brendan sprang out of bed and ran downstairs. I figured he wanted to see if Grandma and Grandpa were up – but when I went to check, he was just sitting in front of the bare tree – quietly gazing up at it with peaceful wonder. I sat and watched him. Reminded that I can choose to see the stress and the busy – I can look at the tree and see all that is not done yet, or I can choose to appreciate the magic and the wonder of all that is thereLong term high blood and insulin can elevate improper nerve function, resulting in severe ache with only levitra soft light brush. According to health research, though the aged males usually cialis 5 mg deeprootsmag.org face the problem of erection but the young one also facing sexual issue like erectile dysfunction. Relying on health order cialis type, this drug needs to be swig before involving in sexual process. Male enhancement pills are considered effective within acquiring erections with regard deeprootsmag.org levitra 20mg uk to 4 several hours. . It’s not so much that I made a choice in that moment, but something clicked me back on track. I decided that I would only decorate if it made me happy to decorate. I would only make cookies if it was fun to bake cookies. I would wrap presents with a Christmas movie and a glass of wine, rather than like a sprint to finish. I didn’t do less this year – but I appreciated more. I learned a lot about how I want to move through life – as a happy participant, not as a stressed finisher. I still have a lot to learn, and I’m lucky that my son teaches me all the best things in life. As it has been since the moment he was born, every single day when I wake up and see him I really do feel as happy as a six year old on Christmas morning. Being his Mom is everything I have ever wanted in life.

Since this blog is going to be Brendan’s baby book some day, I feel like it’s okay to brag a little.

A couple weeks ago, we received this note from Brendan’s Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Russell:

Wow!
I just need to share how stellar Brendan’s behavior has been lately. He has demonstrated inclusion, kindness, caring so many times these past few days– it has been heart melting.
I told him how proud I am of him and I wanted you to know it to.
He did well at the basketball tournament today. But the real prize was when Brendan asked who won. He was told that Dante won and without hesitation, turned to Dante gave him a big hug and “congratulations!”… then Brendan found out that he actually tied for 1st place!
Mr. Martin took a great picture of Dante and Brendan. I will have him send it to you or to me.
Brendan’s star is shining brightly!
Love,
Mrs. R.

We wrote back a thank you note and received another amazing mail”

Hi Rob and Lori,
Thank you for your kind words, but it is I who truly need to thank you.
You may not realize it, but you both enriched this teaching year for me enormously.
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Namely, (by my good fortune) for entrusting me with your Brendan.
His intelligence (and how he shares it) elevates other students in critical discussion and discourse. His enthusiasm and all around good nature add fun and lively energy-which a classroom needs! If I’m driving the “car”–he’s the gas. He propels the class forward and I can count on him for that.
Now that I am seeing him also demonstrate “above and beyond” graciousness with his peer group, I can honestly say, he is one rising star.
Take a bow Mom & Dad and enjoy Hamilton!
Love,
Mrs. Russell

Mr. Martin did take a great picture of Brendan and Dante:

And he sought me out at school to tell me the very same story with even more details.

The next Friday, we ran into Mrs. Russell on the way out of school and she said, “oooooh Brendan, I’m probably the last person you wanted to run into with your Mom…”. It had not been the best week. But the thing I love most about Mrs. Russell is that whether she is delivering a glowing report, or a needs improvement report, you can always feel the love. She really cares about her kids in the best possible way. Brendan and I talked about it and I know he feels it – he knows Mrs. Russell cares about him no matter what – he said it makes him want to try his best. And of course, no matter what kind of week he has had, I’m proud of this boy each and every day.

But I will admit that I printed and laminated those notes from Mrs. Russell and keep them by my bed.

I’m home sick today. And walking back from dropping Brendan off at school, I realized that as a little girl I could never remember a time where my Mom was resting because she was sick. Or for that matter, I can’t remember many times where my Mom was sitting down and resting at all. I can already hear her response reading this: “Nooooo that’s not true!” then she will tell me three whole times where she was sick or actually sat down, and she won’t appreciate the irony that she can actually NAME the few times these things happened because they were such rare occurrences. My Mom is an expert at giving her life for others. Selfless acts of service and devotion are her gift – not only to those she loves, but to everyone in her life. She is 83 years old, and still when she visits my house, she is the one to make us dinner. Even if I convince her to let me make dinner (or to get take-out…) she refuses to sit down and rest – she wants to help. She NEEDS to help. I appreciate this so much, I really do. Having my Mom for a Mom is a gift I cannot even begin to explain. And her kind of love is so unconditional and all encompassing that there my heart has always felt full. As a mother now myself, I realize that I love my son in this way too. Unconditionally and all encompassing. And whether by nature or nurture, I am wired toward “service” as one of the main ways I show my love. This roughly translates into the thought that the more I love, the more I should do for those I love. My Mom has set a bar here that I will never meet, let alone exceed. But I also realize that more than anything, my wish for my Mom would be to relax sometimes – to let people take care of HER for a change. Or even better – to take care of herself, because there is nobody better equipped to know what she needs. One of my very favorite things my Mom ever did was when she made a raisin pie. I love this because there wasn’t a party or event my parents were attending, and my Dad cannot stand raisins. My Mom, who makes pies for everyone else in the world, finally made a pie just for herself – because SHE loves raisin pie! This is one of the few things I can ever remember my Mom doing just for herself – and I believe she was in her late 70’s when she made this raisin pie. Again, she will say I’m exaggerating, but there aren’t many.

So as a mother, I’m trying to balance between doing for my family, doing for others, and doing for myself. Sometimes taking care of myself might mean one of my favorite indulgences like getting a massage. But I’m looking for smaller opportunities as well – like going to bed early to read, or carving time out of the day to do a craft project just for fun, or sitting down in the backyard to enjoy my coffee – even though there are a million other things that need doing. I know I function better when I have a little quiet and solitude in each day – where can I find those moments? As I have been considering this, sometimes just an attitude of self care can make a difference – being open to opportunities in the things I’m already doing: why do I face my cutting board toward the wall when I could face it toward the window? Why do I save my snuggliest sweatshirt instead of enjoying it? Why can’t I treat myself to one of my favorite coffees as I drive into work? Do I really have to be multitasking or making a to do list in my head – or can I truly just be in the moment? It’s challenging – and I can’t say I had the best role model for self care growing up.

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I know my Mom and I feel the same in this respect: doing things for the people we love is our greatest joy. But I also try and remember what the wise airplane people tell us about oxygen masks: that you need to put yours on first, so that you are better able to assist those traveling with you. If I am frazzled, I’m not the best Mom or wife or friend or boss that I can be. As much as I can, I want to model for Brendan a life full of service and hard work and all kinds of activity, as well as a life where he can breathe deeply and enjoy relaxing and recharging himself so that he can live even more fully in every aspect of his life. And I’ll keep working on my Mom…

These past weeks have been filled with fun and milestones and all things fun and emotional. First up: Brendan graduated from pre-school. When you work at Lucasfilm, this means a big ceremony in the theater with stormtroopers and R2-D2 in attendance. Grandma and Grandpa and Aunt Lisa were also in attendance – which was way more important to Brendan. In fact, as Brendan looked out into the audience, he excitedly yelled, “Hi Grandma!!” Many of the kids were shy being up in front of all those people – Brendan was not. While I was watching, I worried that he was at least a ham, perhaps bordering on obnoxious, but as time has passed and I’ve watched the following videos, I’ve softened my view. I realize that he did what I always want him to do – he enjoyed every minute. He was also four at the time – and almost every parent and every teacher told her that he literally stole the show. For me, he always steals the show.

The march in:

Performance #1:

Performance #2 (right before this started he said, “Ohhh! I love this one!!”

The Interview:

Getting his diploma:

He spent one more week after this in the Dolphin room, and tomorrow he starts soccer camp. He is excited – but twice this weekend, he cried because he missed the Dolphin room. Mom also cried on the way out of the classroom for the last time. But in each case, we held each other close and remembered that it’s okay to be sad, but that together we can figure anything out.

The day after graduation, it was birthday party time! This year he wanted a soccer/pool party. At first this combination perplexed me, but I think we rocked it. The whole class was invited because we didn’t want anyone to feel left out – and about 50 people came! That was a fun surprise! We had the party at Hamilton Pool, with a soccer theme. Of course, Grandma’s cake didn’t hurt the celebratory mood either – and there was plenty for everyone. I didn’t do a great job capturing moments with the camera, but thankfully Uncle Joel took some for me!

We also had a birthday party at school:

And then we opened presents at home. He was so surprised and sweet and grateful – I wish I had kept the camera rolling:

There are so many things I love about this boy. Here are a few of the things that are quintessential Brendan as he turns 5:

• He loves all things active: biking, scooters, running, soccer, hockey, baseball, skiing, skating, surfing, swimming – anything outside.
• When we go to the farmers market, just as much as the waffles and the bouncy house, he can’t wait to stop at the plant guy to see what kind of “food plants” he has. He loves to plant seeds and watch them grow.
• Right now, his favorite phrase is “Oh my gosh!” Either that or, “Moooooooooommmmmmm…..” (when I am somehow embarrassing him)
• He is thoughtful and empathetic and silly. He is a leader in the class, but doesn’t know it – and almost prefers to follow.
• He whistles constantly. CONSTANTLY. And he’s getting pretty good.
• His mind just naturally gets math, but he suddenly can’t remember the order of the alphabet.
• When he is interested in something, and decides he wants to do it – he can focus and do it. No matter what.
• When he wants to emphasize something important he says, “Mom – For TRUE LIFE!”
• When he has a cold, he tells us he has a “rusty nose”
• Favorite foods: Mac-n-Cheese, Popovers with Grandma’s strawberry jam, ice cream, yogurt, Trader Joes pizza with carmelized onions
• He still comes into our bed, but not as often as I’d like
• All the ladies love him, but he’s true blue to Harper (although he’s a sucker for a lady wearing lipstick…)
• For toys, he still loves to play with cars and magnatiles most of all.
• Loves bugs and worms and ants and snails and any critter

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And here are my compiled 100 photos for the past 6 months. The months went by so quickly as they always do, but as usual, he just keeps getting better and better.

I am often surprised by how long it’s been since I sat down to write about all my favorite Brendan moments. I used to worry about getting “behind” when only a few days had lapsed. Now there is no catching up. So I won’t try, I’ll just start.

First: Hawaii.
Vacationing with an almost 5 year old was a dream. He could look forward to things, he could SWIM (with no flotation assistance at all this trip) and he was just fun. My goal for the trip was to cease the fun in every moment. When we had to go to the grocery store and there was an arcade next door? LET’S GO. If Brendan said he wanted to stop for an ice cream, LET’S FIND SOME. He wants to go night swimming? LET’S STAY UP LATE. I got my hair wet almost every time I went swimming. I went surfing even though it had always scared me – and I LOVED IT. We had a blast. Brendan wanted to move to Hawaii, and I can’t blame him.

Brendan Surfing:

Brendan from gopro (long, but awesome):

Brendan and Daddy on same wave:

Mommy:

Underwater frolics:

We also took a trip to Utah to visit friends and to ski. No big surprise, Brendan loved the skiing:

Mommy preferred the innertubing. Rob has one of all of us from the gopro – but I’m not sure where it is:

Then there were some of my favorite every day moments, like when, after MUCH practice, Brendan learned to whistle:

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(now he whistles tunes, very loudly. all the time)

Or when we discovered he could wiggle his ears:

Or how even athlete’s foot can be fun:

Grandma and B in his garden (while wearing my shoes):

My strong son:

This rock-n-roll moment:

(although currently he will tell you that his favorite song is “Barbara Ann” by The Beach Boys)

The number song he made up that still gets stuck in my head – eighty-nine seventy-five, eighty-nine seventy-five…

As much as at times I still get sad that he’s changing, I continue to find that he is even more fun and that I love him even more every single day. I’ve been saying that for almost five years straight at this point, so there’s a good shot the trend will continue.

It has been a long time since I was a blogger. I’m so thankful for instagram – it allows me to capture so many moments before I forget them. But it has also made me lazy. When I instagram, I don’t get to capture all the in between moments – the moments that don’t come with a picture – like how we have the same favorite candy but instead of calling it a “Scotch Kiss” he calls it a “Kiss Cotch”. Or how he calls dice, “Round Checkers”. Or construction workers, “Instruction workers.” I don’t record all the ways he is changing – how he loves to have his back scratched, and makes sure that he scratches Mommy’s back too. How he knows that whatever I’m doing, I’ll stop if he says he wants snuggles. How he wants to run as fast as we can to the elevator if we see someone else – ANYONE else going into the elevator so that we can ride with them – but at the same time he has at times decided that he’s shy when it’s time to walk into his classroom. He still loves to draw (and he’s getting really good!), he still loves stories. I love the way his mind works – the way he considers things and poses questions. I love how he is more and more able to express what he is thinking and feeling – the way he understands the world to be. The other day we were talking in the car and he couldn’t remember Meredith’s name, so he said, “You know, the girl who kept me safe in her belly and helped me be born.” Perfect. I love that even though he is still a sponge for silliness and can be a little imp at times, that his heart is still as truly kind as it always has been. He says things at least once a week that make my heart explode open with love – and I always tell him so. He loves to say “thank you’s” each night before dinner, and he is always thankful for “the fish”, but he also comes up with some very special moments of gratitude that he considers deeply. He asks a lot about God, and he seems to know a lot about God already. He still says with certainty, that he is going to have a little sister – and that is something that he and God are going to have to work out together…

He and Daddy have convinced me that having a dart gun battle once in a while is okay – although even in “every man for himself” challenges, I still somehow end up teaming up with my son… Once Daddy accidentally hit me in the face, and Brendan went to his bed and was near tears with concern. (I was fine.) He knows how much he is loved. I also want to instill in him the confidence to always be himself – to always be Brendan. I want him to continue to be thoughtful and kind and sympathetic others, but to make his own decisions – not to let hurtful words sink in and take root, but to consider other possibilities as to why they are said. I see him doing this sometimes – “She said she didn’t like my shirt, but I think she was just jealous” “He always hurts people, maybe he needs somebody to be nice to him.”, and it fills me with hope. The world can be full of hard things – but I don’t want him to become hard. I don’t want his sweet little spirit crushed – I want it to continue to shine. If there was anyway I could protect him from every hard thing, I would – whether that would ultimately be good for him or not. But since I know that isn’t possible, I want to arm him with different ways to interpret peoples actions – not to ignore what people say, but not to immediately internalize it either. I wish for him the wisdom to see into the heart of people and to see their actions and respond from that perspective. At 4 and a half, he’s doing a damn good job of that.

I just sat down to pull together my top 100 photos from 4-4.5 and I realized that I’ve gotten lazy in using my phone instead of my real camera too. Thankfully, the phone pictures still capture the memories very nicely – and they tell the story better than any blog words ever could. And that’s why I’ve also let myself get a little lax in choosing a few extra pictures. Sometimes the picture itself isn’t a winner – but the moment it captures, or the look on his face is one I don’t want to forget. How sad that I even have to justify breaking my own rules… On that note, Kate Hudson. She is one of the few “stars” I follow on instagram. Started mainly because of the video she posted of she and her son dancing in an airport. She recently posted a video of she and her mom (Goldie…) talking about their mantra for the year – “Why Not?!?” I’m pretty much the opposite of “Why Not?!?”. And this is probably why I follow Kate Hudson on instagram. I know the world needs planners and list makers too – but I want to be a little more “Why Not?!?”. I need inspiration. Last year my goal was to allow a little more spontaneity into my life. I think I did okay with that – and surprisingly, the world did not crumble around me when we went off our planned dinner schedule. Each year at work I make my whole group choose a tagline, and even before I saw “Why Not?” I had decided to make mine, “Don’t wait.” Maybe “Why Not” is a little too carefree for me – but maybe “Why Wait?” is a frame of mind I can adopt both at work and at home. A little carefree mixed with my natural tendencies… I’ll give it a shot.

I’m not a big New Years Resolution maker, but I would also like to commit to a monthly blog post – and maybe also at least once a month to dust off the good camera. For very selfish reasons, just to ensure that my favorite collection continues. I have also had tremendous anxieties about all my home movies existing only on You Tube. I don’t think that was a great choice – but I’ll just hope that youtube doesn’t go out of business… and that if they ever do, they make good ethical decisions about letting people get their movies back. Okay, moving on before I have more anxiety… I suppose I trust the bank with my money rather than putting it under my mattress, right?
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Anyway, I’m pleased that even with my laziness, I’m still keeping a good collection. I’m pleased that any picture, and just a few little words can take me right back to a moment. Here are some great ones from the past 6 months:

From my many instagram/blog posts, you may have guessed that we took a Gianino family vacation to Disneyworld. It was an awesome trip. Since we have been three years in a row, there has come to be a familiarity in the flow of the trip – sprinkled in with new unexpected magic. I love this tradition, and am thankful for the opportunity to spend vacation time together. Vacation time has a whole different rhythm, and it’s nice when we get to share it.

Everything was going well… until the last night when we took these pictures. Each year I take a few with the boys on the swing. Last year they jumped off and I got some good action photos. This year I asked if they were going to jump again. I gave it a one…. two…. three! And off they went. Everyone landed safely, but Brendan forgot to move out of the way, and the swing came back and bumped him in the head. I ran over and scooped up my boy. He was crying a little, but nothing out of the ordinary. As I held him in my arms, I heard one of the cousins say, “His head is bleeding!”. I reached up toward his head, and when I pulled my hand back it was covered in blood. First of all, he’s fine. Don’t take my lack of blogging as a sign of anything more serious. We were in the best possible place for this type of disaster – there were lifeguards and other trained folks at the ready to help us. And I say, “us” because Mommy started to get woozy. I passed the boy to more steady arms and tried very hard to get myself under control. All I could think about was making sure he was okay. So I stood back up proclaiming to my sister and mother-in-law who stayed back to help me that I was fine as I staggered back toward my son. As I walked my vision started narrowing and sounds got muffled and far away. I was going down. They sat me down somewhere and kept telling me Brendan was fine. Finally Grandma had the good idea to put Brendan in my arms. He told me himself that he was fine. But his red stained hair was not very reassuring. He wasn’t being rushed to the hospital, so I gradually got myself under control and we made it to our last dinner in time for the reservation. When all was said and done, it was a tiny little cut on his head. It healed within a week, and I learned that heads bleed profusely. I am not squeemish when it comes to blood. Not if it happens to be me who is bleeding, or someone on TV – but if it’s someone I love, and apparently particularly my son, I’m not such a hero. The family is getting a lot of mileage out of my weakness. I’m hoping I won’t have to practice or be tested too many times.

Okay, moving on.
We were long overdue for a Casler family vacation. We waffled between Disneyland and “the beach”, and finally we came up with the answer: Santa Cruz. It’s got beach, it’s got boardwalk, it’s got Grandma’s very favorite ice cream and my favorite bagel place. It’s only a 36 minute drive from Grandma and Grandpa’s house, but man – it feels like a world away. Rob had been there recently for a work conference (poor baby…) so he had a great hotel recommendation. We could hear the waves from our room (Grandpa’s very favorite), there was a nice heated pool (Santa Cruz waters are not exactly Hawaii waters…) and we had adjoining rooms so Brendan could wake Grandma and Grandpa up at the crack of dawn each morning. We were only there for a weekend, but there were so many highlights.

The beach: nobody in my family can get enough.

Daddy took a surf lesson. A Christmas present from last year… I don’t necessarily want to surf, but I’d like to be a surf Wife/Mother. I’m on my way. Both boys are pretty impressive.

That last man standing on the wave? That’s Daddy.
And then there was ice cream. Marianne’s Ice Cream in Santa Cruz has been around over 50 years. And now I know why. Grandma has done her best to keep this place in business and I plan on doing my part as well.

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We also went to the boardwalk. We had a nice view of the rides from our hotel room, but Brendan was even more excited about the beach. Until we got to the boardwalk… Of course he loved it. The arcade, the candy store (BEST salt water taffy!), the rides. And after Daddy, Brendan and I took a ride on the Pirate Ship, Grandma and Grandpa decided they needed a turn. Rob wasn’t so sure – but I was. Grandma in particular is a roller coaster junkie. We got to take up an entire row, and it’s one of the highlights of the trip for me.

Clearly we hadn’t packed in enough fun, so we also hit a “pick your own apples” orchard on the way home. My son is a farmer. That deserves a post of it’s own, so I’ll just leave it at that for now. But man, did we get some apples.

That is until some hoodlum decided to go into the NOT RIPE roped off section!! There’s one in every family…

I love family vacations. The only bummer is when they’re over and you realize you have to wait a looooong time until the next one. I also realize I miss writing about our adventures. I hope to be back before too long. But for now, good night!

Mom: more pics here! Scroll to the bottom.

Last year he wasn’t so sure he loved “The Barnstormer” which is a kids roller coaster, but this year he told me he definitely wanted to go on the “Seven Dwarfs Mine Train”. So we did.

Grandpa also caught us dancing together in Starbucks.

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With all this plus his midway fame, not a bad first day.

P.S.
I just realized that I had been hacked who knows how long ago… for those of you that were seeing ads at the top of the screen for “Viagra” and other such things, that was not from me! I think it’s cleaned up now, but I apologize. It never showed up when I was logged in, but I just happened to see it from another computer.

During our Spontaneous Chinese Food Feast, Daddy ended up telling the story of how he proposed to me on the balcony of a cruise ship leaving New Orleans. Brendan was hanging on every word, but he and Daddy share the same favorite part for very different reasons. Daddy loves to tell about how he was down onThis drug dissolves in the blood enzyme of men and hence a person has to make sure to also have a brief look over the dosage, side effects, precautions and the storage of the sildenafil generic india pill. Cheaper and cost-effective If anyone goes to a professional instructor who levitra cialis viagra offers offsite training would definitely charge a good amount because of apparent reasons. Take Kamagra one hour prior to the consultation Taking the viagra generika medicine during sexual stimulation only Avoiding alcohol, heavy meal, nitrate drugs during the medication This is simple and helpful information for you to complete the search with a world-class medicine for male erection problems. Some of the side-effects like headache, drowsy state, stomach ache, nausea feeling or throwing up uneasy feeling of the drug can be generic viagra from usa avoided with the proper consultation of your doctor. his knee and looked up at me to find me so overcome with emotion that I had a lip quiver. He says this as if he won a trophy, “YES! I GOT THE LIP QUIVER!!” I don’t think Brendan comprehends the emotion, but he really likes the reenactment:

This is what my heart looks like. About four years I let it outside of my chest to walk around in the world. And even though I realize that givingFor the easeof different consumers, this medicine is being offered in the form of tablets, buy super cialis jelly, effervescent and soft tablets. For discount cialis 20mg those who are not knowledgeable about this disease, they might find the appearance of psoriatic skin a bit troubling. They use their teen years to experiment with their sexuality and become sexually active before the age of 18. cheap viagra secretworldchronicle.com Thus, one must consult a doctor and get the necessary medication prescribed buy generic levitra for him. my heart away so completely makes me vulnerable, it has also made me free. It was the best choice I ever made.

So you may have guessed that we went to Hawaii. Since I documented many moments on instagram, I will assume that my phone pictures have been carefully curated – but there were a couple times when I actually brought out my other camera!

This trip was an amazing gift from The Uncles. Rob’s work closes down the week of the 4th of July (!!!) so they even scheduled their vacation around our timeframe. It would have been special to get to spend uninterrupted time with The Uncles wherever we were, but Hawaii was pretty much perfect. And lets not forget that traveling with The Uncles also means traveling with Chef Brian who prepared amazing meals and snacks for us at every turn. We did a little touring, a little sunset catamaraning, but mostly we hung out at the beach or the pool – or even just in our amazing suite, laughing and catching up. I’m sitting in our backyard enjoying the night breeze and the sound of crickets as I write this, and as I look over to where they used to live, rather than the sadness I often feel – I’m simply grateful that our best friends happened to move next door just long enough to become family. Now they can’t get rid of us no matter where they live. And no matter where they vacation…
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(Grandma – so many more pictures of Hawaii in the 4 year old collection.)

I seem to be instagraming much more than I’m blogging these days. There are things I like about instagram – I like that I can easily capture moments with a picture and a few words. I like how it forces me to curate down to a single image, rather than posting 100 shots from the same moment. I didn’t like that it wasn’t preserved in my blog-baby-book, which is why I found a way to record these moments here as well. I’m also not sure how I feel about the fact that my phone is winning out over my good camera recently. And I’m not particularly fond of missing the opportunity to tell longer fuller stories about my favorite little guy. I’m sure these habits will continue to grow and change, just like Brendan does.

I have to say… four is pretty great – in fact, it may be the very best age. I know I’ve said it before, but this time I have PROOF. There was a little four year old boy that I met at DeAnza pool when I used to swim there with my friends almost every day in the summer. He was such a sweet and cool little guy. So funny, so full of life and play – even though we were 10 years older, he made our days more fun. His name was James, and I remember him to this day. Now that I have my own four year old, I can say that he is all of the things I loved about James and more. He is on that cusp between baby and kid – still so sweet and innocent with no embarrassment, just wonder. Still very little sass, but starting to have his own ideas on what is cool – on what he wants to do and wear – what he wants to learn about. We took him to see “Inside Out” the other day – and as a personal aside, I literally laughed and cried my way through the movie – but it caused him to think about memories and emotions. What great talks we have had since that movie. It gave him a language to talk about his thoughts. I asked him to think about a “joy” memory – and he thought of something from when we were on vacation in Hawaii (which even though I instagramed to death, will have it’s own post later…) and it turns out his favorite memory from the trip was hunting for ‘coconuts’. I choked back tears. I love that he loved that. I’m so very glad that although at times I would have rather been swimming, I took the time to wander the grounds helping him look for coconuts – and then helped him set up a station on our balcony to give the coconuts a bath. That is Brendan being four. That is what was important to him and brought him joy. And what brings me joy, is learning more about what brings him joy. It’s the greatest gift I’ve ever gotten to unwrap.

But I digress.
We had a fourth birthday party!
And this year it was time to let him invite HIS friends. This made for a very different birthday party. Equally fun, but different. He thought he wanted to have a soccer party, but then changed his mind and went with a pool party at our local pool. What an awesome idea he had! Many of his friends live in San Francisco where there are not an abundance of outdoor pools because it’s foggy and cold most of the year. It was so fun to let his birthday be an explosion of summer! We invited lots of folks because as we all know, lots of people won’t be able to come. Except most of them came! It was great. The more the merrier. Once the friends started arriving, I didn’t see much of my son until the cake. And of course, Grandma came through with an amazing cake once again – complete with a swimming pool and cake beach balls. A couple people admitted that they would not miss Brendan’s party, if only to get a piece of Grandma’s cake. We did forget matches, but turns out it’s just as easy to make a wish and then pretend to blow out your candles. Plus, then you get to make MORE wishes when you blow them out later from home. I’m very fortunate that Charlie’s Dad and some other good friends captured the day in pictures for me.

There were only a couple bummers… of course we wished our family from Boston and from Iowa could celebrate at the party with us, but they were certainly there in spirit! But the absolute worst part of the day was that Brendan got his first sunburn. It wasn’t a HORRIBLE burn, but it wasn’t good either. Rob and I felt so bad – we applied sunscreen before the party, but we didn’t think to reapply in time – and with our little fish in the water most of the day, and with the decision to keep the rash guard off so we could admire his cute little four year old body, we ended up with some pink shoulders and cheeks. I’ll hope this is the last one he gets for a long time.
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Each year is so different from the next. Some friends are on the cusp of a second baby in the house and it caused me to especially think back on all the stages. I’m well aware that I think each stage is the best one yet, and it is! I have loved every one of them – and while I would love to relive each day with him again and again, I would never go back because I so enjoy watching Brendan become more of himself every day. Besides, he told me the other day, “Mommy – I will always be your baby, even when I’m taller than you!”. But between shared sentiments like that, and the fact that often times out of the blue he will lean over and whisper to me, “Mom – I love you!”, I’m pretty convinced it will be hard to ever top having a four year old Brendan.

P.S. There are few things more stressful than trying to serve Grandma’s birthday cake to a mob of hungry 4 year olds while they carefully watch you and wonder who you are going to grace with the next piece of cake.

A birthday is just another day, right? We’re not really a YEAR older, just another day. So what is it about Brendan’s birthday that makes me so emotional? In my heart, I’m back in Iowa – with Meredith and Linda and all of the emotion of that day, those weeks. How can I ever express how much my Iowa family means to me? How can they ever truly understand the love I have for them? I certainly couldn’t have understood it or ever predicted it, but here it is. I feel it every day. I am protective of Meredith like a Mother/Sister/Daughter/Friend all rolled into one. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for her, because she gave everything to me.

And as usual, I long for all the days past, without wanting to give up one single moment of today – of where we are now, or where we are going. Each day, even with all its imperfection, is perfect. Gratitude upon gratitude. Love expanding even more when I’m CERTAIN it’s not possible. I worried that my heart was a balloon that would burst open from trying to contain all the love – but now I realize that in bursting open it can hold the world.

I’m grateful for everything – but I can only try and capture a few moments:

– I love how you have always wanted to lie right on top of Mommy when you are in bed with me, and how even at 4 years old, you insist on resting your head on my head and neck, and your feet on Daddy.

– I love how honest and conscientious you are. How you tell us when you do something you don’t feel good about – how you want to talk to Mommy about it.

– I love how brave and kind you are – how you stick up for people at school – how you “make Brendan choices” instead of doing what everyone else is doing

– I love how I catch you signing “I Love Rock and Roll” as you are going about your business, and how you ask me NOT to sing and dance in the car. Actually, I don’t love that last part, but I understand.

– I love how you try new things with such fearlessness.

– I love how you get SO excited when you see someone else going into the elevator lobby – how you run so fast to make sure we can be on the same elevator with them. How you say hello to people rather than shyly shrinking away. I also love that occasionally you feel more brave when you are holding Mommy’s hand.

– I love how all on your own you will hold the door open for the ladies and say, “After you!”

– I love your inquisitive and analytical mind – how pleased you get when you figure things out all by yourself. I mean it when I say how impressed I am at the way you think about things.

– Although sometimes I find it challenging to be creative on the fly, I love your endless appetite for hearing and telling stories

– I love the look of sheer delight on your face as you practice the back float with Teacher Carrie

– I love your laugh – it will always make my heart dance – but now it is more carefully distributed and that makes it even more special to me.
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– I love how you bring me treasures because you know it makes me feel loved and special – rocks, flowers, a piece of a zipper, a small piece of shiny foil

– I love how you point out rainbows to me every time you see them – and how you play the game on my iphone and joyfully announce – “Mommy – I got you a rainbow!!”

– I love your use of the word, “actually”

– I love when I can see music moving your soul – the little smile creeps over your face and sometimes you try to hide your delight, but I see it. And then you ask to listen to the song again.

– I love when out of the blue you walk up to me and say very genuinely, “Mom – I really love you.”

– I love how you even if you wake up early, you wait for me on your bed at school because you know I’m coming to cuddle you awake.

– I love that you are starting to know what you like – watching you develop your own interests and personality, how you think about the world around you, how your mind processes things, what moves you – learning about the person I love most in the world s the most fascinating thing in the world to me.

– I love your little boy shoes and socks that come home full of sand and end up strewn all over the house

– I love how you move into our bed in the early hours of the morning with your two blankets and George and Baby Giraffe, and Snakey and Potamus.

– I love how much you love my zucchini bread and chocolate chip cookies and ice cream, but that you picked zucchini bread as the treat you wanted to bring to school for your birthday.

Brendan: You have filled my world with love and laughter and magic and FUN. You have always been, and always will be, my dream come true.

There are birthday party pictures to sort through, but for now, my usual custom – trying to narrow down my favorite 100(ish) photos of the last six months. Thank goodness I’m a little behind in my photo uploads because there were already too many to choose from.

I know many of you were concerned about whether Daddy and Brendan had a good time at the game… THEY DID. Sorry to keep you in suspense. I asked Daddy to write about it himself, but he claims he is not a blogger, and this was not the week to get him to start. So I am going to relay some of my favorite moments, as told to me by Daddy:

– On the walk into the park (they got there before batting practice) a woman pulled her car over to tell him he was the cutest. I’m pretty sure she was talking about Brendan, but Daddy did not specify.

– They went down the big coke bottle slide – and daddy had a brief moment of fear when he had to lose sight of Brendan moving from the stairs to the bottom of the slide. Nobody got lost, and the smallest Gianino enjoyed his ride down.

– Over by the slide, they have a baseball diamond set up just for the kids – guess who nailed it:

– Brendan quickly got the idea of food vendors, and every one that came by he would say, “daddy, daddy! we need that!! Then he would just wave his hand at the vendor himself. They ended up with MANY treats including his first time trying cotton candy:

– At one point, he saw someone near them catch a foul ball – Daddy noticed that he kept watching where the ball had been caught… finally he asked daddy when they were going to throw it back to the players. Daddy explained foul balls and then, of course, Brendan wanted to catch one. Daddy looked over and saw Brendan quietly outstretch his hand out in a catching pose, patiently waiting for a ball to come to him.
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– Daddy figured they would make it through a couple innings (hopefully). Around the 7th inning, they were still there – Daddy asked Brendan if he wanted to leave. He did not. In fact, Brendan heard an announcement that after the game, the kids could go on the field and run the REAL bases just like the players do. Sure enough, they stayed all 9 innings, and Brendan told Daddy it was time to hit the field:

Now comes the time where I can give some first hand information. Brendan passed out on the way home – at around 5:30. Daddy transferred him to his bed when we got home – and there he slept all night long. He slept in his Giants uniform smelling like sunscreen with chocolate ice cream all over his face. He looked like summer.
When he woke up the next morning, the first words out of his mouth: “Mommy why do they call it a ‘ballpark’ – i got to run the REAL bases on the REAL field – but only one time. Then they gave me a chocolate treat. ”
Then he told me, “Mom – before a batter comes out, they say, “Now batting…. different names!”
After a few Oooohs and Ahhhhs from Mom, he went on, “You know what? I saw BUSTER POESY!”
But he wasn’t done – “Mom – I’ll bet you forgot what cotton candy tastes like – it looks like fur! I’ll go get you some!”

Now he not only plays baseball, but he make-believes baseball. He spent one night this week pretending to be Buster Posey. Apparently, Buster Posey’s favorite thing to do is to walk over and very ceremoniously hand his Mom a ball. His Mom liked that too. He wanted me to call him “Buster Posey” until I said, “Okay Buster Posey – time to come in for dinner!” at which point he said, “Nooooo Mom… when it’s something REAL you don’t call me Buster Posey! You call me Peanut!”. So I very gladly gathered the Peanut in my arms and told him how much I loved him.

The summer has started with a bang. Last weekend we went out on a Friday date with Brendan’s girlfriend(s):

Then Saturday was his very last soccer practice, followed of course by donuts with his best soccer pal.

And then, at Brendan’s request, we did a scooter adventure at the beach. Daddy and Brendan had done this once or twice before, but this was Mommy’s first time. I’m very glad they invited me along. It was a cold San Francisco summer day, but that didn’t stop us.

This weekend, we took a little trip to our state capitol: Sacramento. We started out with a visit to a waterslide park. This seemed like a great plan – Sacramento at Memorial Day weekend should have been hot hot hot – but it was not not not. We shivered our way through a couple hours, and then went out to Dairy Queen for Brendan’s very first Blizzard. Yum. I’m so lucky we don’t have one near our house.

We ate dinner at The Old Spaghetti Factory and learned that Brendan and Mommy both love the Mizithra cheese. I could eat another plate right this second – again, probably good we don’t have one close by. We all piled into a king sized bed and fell asleep as we watched a cool vintage neon sign blinking out our window. The next morning we hit the hotel pool which was heated and much more pleasant. And then we piled into the car to go to a farm and pick strawberries. I figured Brendan would have fun running around, but I never dreamed that he would be so excited about picking berries. We ate a whole bunch fresh from the vine, and then later on they told us we could pick as many as we wanted to take home. Jess and I headed out with our buckets, and Brendan wanted to come too. He was really good at it! He picked only the good ones, and could have stayed out there all day. I seriously got twice as many because he was helping me. And I enjoyed it at least twice as much too.

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He also spent a good deal of time playing in a dirty gravel pile.

Then he passed out on the way to Chili’s (this entire trip ended up focused around favorite places to eat that are not near our home) and I got to hold him while he slept through the queso. In other words, sort of a perfect moment. Scarlet also fell asleep and slept in her Mom’s arms for a bit. I watched them and thought about how quickly those baby days pass – but how it truly does keep getting better and better. And while these snuggly restaurant nap moments are few and far between, they are even more special because I fall more deeply in love with him every single day. I never understood how that could be possible when I loved him with my whole heart from the very first – but it turns out my heart just keeps growing to hold all the love.

As soon as we got home Brendan told us with a very serious face, that he needed to ‘do his exercise’. Apparently this means daredevil gymnastics on mom and dad’s bed. Before he took a bath to wash the dirty gravel pile off him. But hey – he let mom take some pictures. And I can always wash the sheets.

(Believe it or not, Mom – there are even some more pictures here.)

I’m going to keep my words short and sweet, just like my little man. Just a few things I don’t want to forget.

So much fun happens at the Farmer’s Market. Rainbow facepaint, jumpy houses, buying Mom flowers…:

One day he decided that he really wanted to buy his own waffle. The waffle man knows us at this point, so I was sure he would be a patient participant. Brendan lined up all by himself, and did a great job. Mommy kept the change, though.

One day we were playing in his room and he said, “Speaking of hearts…” (we weren’t) and then went on to talk about something totally unrelated to hearts. I guess “hearts” is always a good way to get Mommy’s attention.

Replacing my pillows with the rainbow pillow. He did this all on his own, every night for about a week. In the morning he would ask Daddy, “Did she lay her head on the rainbow?”

One morning I was telling him how I’m the luckiest Mom in the world to have him for my son and he said, “Mom – I want to give some of my luck to you”.

Helping Daddy:

Cuddled up:

Another one of my favorite recent bedtime quotes – “My love is going to follow you all the way downstairs”. Grandma is going to love this one because it’s practically a Family Circus cartoon.

Birthday Parties!
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One morning we had to get up a little earlier than usual – we woke B before he was ready to greet the day, and he told Daddy “The yawns keep coming”.

On an especially love filled morning after I told him I hoped he had a great day, “Mom – I don’t need any great – I just want you to have all the great”.

We took a Mommy adventure – I so love being in wide open spaces with my little man – letting him explore the world just the way he wants to.

And of course, Mother’s Day!

Our proud little man graduating from level one to level two swim class:

Last week at soccer, suddenly they went from doing drills to actually playing soccer! It was slightly organized chaos, but out of the herd of kids emerged one blond boy who kicked the ball all the way to the goal and scored!! The very first goal scored by Mr. Brendan Gianino. His coaches bent down, gathered the kids in a circle and said, “Brendan – you just scored a goal! You get to pick what we cheer!” As we listened from the sideline, a clear little voice said, “Let’s cheer Mommy Daddy! Ready? One, Two, Three… MOMMY DADDY!” A little while later, he scored another goal and I watched Daddy trying his very best to stuff all of his excitement and pride back down into his heart. We were equally as proud that every time anyone scored a goal (on either team) Brendan was the first and loudest cheer. All the kids fell down a few times, but Brendan was one of the few who just hopped right back up and kept playing. Proud moments for my little sports star.

And then there is baseball. Suddenly he is all about baseball. Week after week he kept asking us to ‘find him a team’. We finally did – he starts mid June. Something tells me he’ll do okay.

There are plenty of other important updates about my small man, but this deserves it’s very own post. I was looking through the pictures on my phone yesterday and was shocked to discover a whole bunch of pictures that I knew I hadn’t taken. It didn’t take too long to recognize the content of the photos and figure out what had happened. We let Brendan take one of our old iphones to work so that he could listen to music or stories at naptime (all in an effort to cut down on the actual SLEEPING at nap time with the hope that he will actually get tired before 10:00 each night…). Clearly Brendan has seen Mommy take a picture or two, and decided to document his surroundings. I’m not sure how photos made it from a decommissioned iphone onto my current iphone photo stream, but there they were – hundreds of them. I absolutely loved seeing his world from his perspective. There is something so magical about getting a glimpse of what Brendan is like when I’m not around. There are many pictures that are almost precisely the same – I’m sure my little artist was looking for *just* the right composition, and there was also a series of selfies. So below I am included some selects from Brendan’s first portfolio of work – I believe it’s entitled, “Nap Time”.

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On one of my visits I also realized that he knew how to find the one game I left on the phone – the memory game. I discovered this when I was cuddling him just after nap and he opened it right up and then called one of his friends over… “Kyle – would you want to come over and watch me play this game?” And he does a pretty good job on that game, too. Kyle’s lucky for the invitation – I loved watching him play.

Soon I will post some pictures and stories, but for now there are a few more videos that help illustrate our weekend fun.

First, baseball. He keeps telling us we need to “find his team”. He reminds us that he has a soccer team, and a swim team – but we need to find his baseball team. It does appear to be time…

My favorite part of this next one is how Daddy asks him if he’s getting tired, and reminds him to swing… then look what happens:

And daddy ended up with a pretty good welt:

Please excuse my cackling in the previous two videos, and pretty much every single video I film. Apparently, I cackle.

Also, Brendan has lots of trucks. We were playing with them out in the backyard, and he decided to line them up and count them. Turns out there were more than I thought:
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We also bagged the goodwill run (see boxes as evidence) in favor of a car obstacle course. We did this for a LONG time with many different configurations – I’m glad Daddy captured part of the fun:

There is something else that Daddy did for me to celebrate 10 years of health. Ironically, he worked so hard on this while he was sick that he ended up with pneumonia… (he’s finally getting better, thank goodness!). Rob secretly collected videos from many of our friends and family and gave them to me on my anniversary. It was an absolutely beautiful and overwhelming gift of love from him, and so many people. I’m never comfortable with attention being thrown my way, but Rob found a way make it work. He gave me a gift I will always treasure – little presents that I can open any time I need a dose of love and happy. The outtakes were particularly amazing. There were so many videos, that he created a ‘trailer’:

When we first watched this together as a family, it ended and Brendan said, “Let’s watch it again!” That’s exactly how I felt. I’m a very lucky girl, for so many reasons.

Brendan has started getting very excited about music. Forever behind, I have to at least share a few recent music videos:

1. The first song is about a couple of people who Brendan knows. He started singing it while we were at our favorite Mexican place. Originally, it came with a jazzy dance which seemed somewhat lacking when I asked for an encore performance:

2. This second song he made up on the way home from school when he was telling Mommy what he would like for dinner:

3. Then there was the Earth Day Party. I knew they were planting in the garden, but what I didn’t know was that there would be a special performance. In recent history, my son chose these moments to display his enthusiastic interpretations. In other words, he got silly – bordering on disrespectful. We had some talks about it, but I haven’t talked about it in a long time. As they got up to sing, I braced myself. And here is what my son did:
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I am SO PROUD OF HIM!!! We gave each other the biggest hug after the show and told him what an amazing job he did. He said, “Mom, I was really trying to take it seriously.” I told him that I could really tell – and that I was also glad he was still having fun! I asked him, “Who reminded you to take it seriously?” He said, “Nobody, I just told myself.”

I would add more little memory nuggets here, but Brendan is giving out great hugs tonight, and I can hear Daddy getting some. I don’t want to miss out.

Happy Earth Day!!!