The Gianino Family

This weekend we got Brendan a fort. He loves it.

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If I told my Mom every single thing that Brendan ever did – if she were right here, following him around day in and day out – if she saw every picture that I ever took of him, even the blurry rejects, it would still not be enough for her. She can’t get her fill of that little man, and frankly – I understand. She has reminded me three times to try and find a mail that I sent to her with a little tidbit about Brendan – because she “meant to file it in her special folder, and it got lost”. I can’t find the mail, and as long as I’m retelling the story, I thought I may as well do it here since I don’t have access to Grandma’s “special folder” and may some day want to recall these memories myself.

The story she wanted me to tell was that I went down to see Brendan, and he was still taking his nap. Sometimes I stay around and sit by him, and look at him and arrange his blanket so that the silky corner is perfectly positioned on his cheek and hand – hoping that with his first peek of eye he will see his Mama and I can scoop him up and cuddle him for a while. But this time he wasn’t even stirring, so I took a quick peek, stole a quick kiss, and headed back to my office. A little while later I got a call. I answered, but nobody was there. Then I heard a quiet whisper from a teacher voice, “Say, ‘hello mommy!'”. Then I heard my sons little voice, “Hi Mommy!”.
I said, “Hi Baby! Did you just wake up from your nap?”
“Yeah!” he said.
“How is your day going?”, I continued.
“It good!”
“Do you want Mama to come down and give you a hug?”
“YEEEEEEEAH!”
So off I went.
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There are a few other favorite moments from recent days:
– He has a new favorite movie: Toy Story. I know this because when we were looking at which movie he would like to watch, he pointed to Toy Story and said, “That my favorite!”. And when we finally watch our tiny pieces of the movie and get to the end after several sittings, as the credits are rolling by he always says, “That’s a good show”. Of course when Daddy asked him about other movies, he told us each of them was his favorite – and then finally he said, “No, no, no – LION KING my favorite!”. I love favorites.

– Two nights ago Daddy and I went in to check on him before we went to bed, and Brendan’s little foot was poking out the rungs of his crib. Daddy bumped it and Brendan stirred as we stayed as still as humanly possible. Then, Rob decided to try and put his foot back in the crib. Just as my head was asking, ‘has he lost his mind???’ Brendan says, “Don’t DO That!!”. We looked over, and he was still totally asleep. Sleep scolding. It’s a new thing.

– Others: Big Boy Water, telling Mommy that she ‘drive fast’ (it’s true…), putting his baby giraffe ‘to bed’ in our towel holder, talking about going back to ‘Mickey House’, bare feet with linty toes, late night snuggles… even though they make Mommy tired in the morning, they are worth it.

It’s been a hard week. There are several reasons, including another trip to the ER with a baby who is particularly susceptible to croup. But the thing that hit me the hardest, was the news that one of my dearest friends had to say goodbye to her son, who is close to my age. It’s hard for lots of reasons. Because I knew him, because I remember the seemingly charmed life he had when he was young, and how I looked up to him and maybe even had a little crush on him when we were kids. Because I also know of some of the deep pain he experienced as an adult. He leaves behind a wife, children ranging from 8-20, a brother, a father and a mother. It’s that last one that’s getting me especially right now. Because she is family, and because I’m a mother too. And although, thankfully, I can’t even begin to fathom how it feels to lose a child, I can understand the depths of love that a mother’s heart experiences.

There is nothing I can do to take the pain away from their family. But what I am doing is looking on my ‘hard week’ with a little perspective. I happened on this inspirational piece of art, a list of favorite things written by a mother who knew she was dying. It was originally written in a notebook, and then made into art by her daughter, who wants to be reminded of it every day. So to focus my heart on the blessings, here are a few of my favorite things: (note: since i’m doing this as personal therapy, feel free to scroll to the end for cute brendan videos)

Every single thing about being a mother
Cargo ships sailing out to sea
Back to school supplies
My Mom’s spaghetti and meatballs, eaten wearing the striped bibs
Rainy days
Dad’s shaving songs
The way Chelsea smells when she’s sleeping
Cheese, bread and ‘a plate of things’
Eating candy corn and peanuts, watching football and checking fantasy football scores
Scattered fall leaves
Halloween Haystacks
Cappuccino on a swing in Tuscany
Earnest and authentic people
Sea horses, jelly fish and octopus
Sailboats with Christmas lights
Stickers
Spreadsheets
A stack of magazines and a mani/pedi
People that love you no matter what
The first days of vacation
Lingering in a coffee shop or wine bar
Saturday morning, or Sunday night waffles
The boardwalk in Miami
Meredith
Pumpkins
My son taking my hand and leading me anywhere
Coming home
Smelling flowers
My mother-in-law’s antipasto
Napping in a beach chair
My wedding day
Pj’s and warm blankets
Marshmallows
My husbands brown eyes
A matinee with a bucket of popcorn and a giant drink
Barns with meandering cows
When Brendan wakes up laughing
Colored pens and pretty paper
Weddings and first birthday parties
Lying on a blanket to watch clouds or shooting stars
The stillness of a sunrise
Socks
Planning and predictability
Looking at pictures
Going out for breakfast
Sushi at Tsunami
When we would go to the cabin
Hydrangeas
Strings of twinkly lights
Snuggling
The way Lisa and I can talk about anything
Long drives with car snacks
Brave kindness
My Mom’s birthday cakes
Drinks with umbrellas
Things that sparkle
Hooky days
Spa massages
Warm Grandma rolls with butter
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Wisteria petals all over the ground
Tulle
Love notes
A cool breeze
Having best friends and uncles who live next door
Hooded sweatshirts
The smell of the ocean
Sleeping in
My husband telling me everything is going to be okay
Snow clinging to trees
Getting an email from my Dad, or a text from my father-in-law
Picnics and flying kites
Crossing everything off my to do list
Children’s artwork
Integrity and humility
Brendan’s hugs and kindness
Pinterest
Balloons, confetti and streamers
Memories of a magical childhood
Owls hooting at dawn
Finding the perfect gift
Sunlight on vineyards
Converse tennis shoes
Out on the deck of a cruise ship at sea, or pulling into port
Chips and salsa and margaritas
Bunting
My Dad hiding valentines all over the house for me
Dim sum and a pot of tea
In season fruit
Blossoms on trees
Hammocks
Candy in glass jars
The sound of palm trees in a tropical breeze
Bakeries that use boxes and bakers twine
Corned beef and Leprechaun Pie
Traditions
Morning Glories
Red lipstick
Southern hospitality
The right music
Unexpected letters and packages
Breakfast and all day coffee at the Hampton Inn
Shoe sales
Candles and fires in the fireplace
Being seasonally appropriate
Bocce ball, bean bag toss and BBQ’s
Rocks and seashells
Dessert

And sharing with the puppy, even when you don’t feel good:

Today they had a special combined class event at Brendan’s school. Some people were coming in to do a reptile show and tell. Charlie’s class got to come over for the event, and later in the day Aunt Lisa received this mail from Charlie’s teacher:

How cute are they! Brendan gave Charlie a big hug when she was nervous about the dead snake in a jar that the reptile experts brought!

Best,

Rachel
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Yes, that sound you hear is my heart skipping a beat. We talk about the fact that hugs make people feel better, and I’m so glad he knows it.

p.s.
Harper is away this week, so she did not have to witness this fraternization with an older woman. Thank goodness.

We had decided that Brendan didn’t need to go to a major league game this year. He’s two, and squirmy – and maybe he would enjoy it more next year. But then he started asking to take his baseball and bat with him whenever we went to the park, and he started doing a pitchers wind-up when he threw a ball (any ball… even his football). And then the Red Sox were in town playing the Giants. And Mommy is in a rare groove of spontaneity. So tonight, we took B to his first major league baseball game.

We talked about *maybe* going on the way to work, so I threw some gear and snacks into a bag (including warm clothes – it’s summer in San Francisco, afterall) and off we went. Brendan totally got it. He knew he was going to a baseball game – and although he said that we should go home and see the puppy before we went to the game, once we were driving he wanted all the people walking on the street to know what he was up to – Go Giants!


We got to the park with seemingly plenty of time – but there were certificates to pick up, t-ball games to play, and many stairs to climb – so we got to our seats just after the first pitch was thrown.

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Our goal was three innings – and half way through the fourth, Brendan looked up at me and said, “I wanna go home”. So we cuddled up, waited for Grandma’s favorite player (Buster Posey) to bat one more time, and then we had the easiest exodus ever out of the ballpark.

In fact, we got home in time to see the Giants pull off the win on TV! We are a mixed family, we cheer for both Boston and SF – but it’s root, root, root for the home team. GO GIANTS!

This is a rare pictureless update, but a moment that my heart will never forget.
Tonight as we were sitting together, Brendan and I were talking about things we liked. I looked at him and said, “I like YOU!”. His little eyes looked directly at me and he said, “I like YOU!” and then he added, “You’re pretty.”
Even though he said it very clearly, I had to ask him to repeat it because the only thing he usually refers to as pretty is water sparkling in the sun – with the occasional reference to pretty flowers. He said it again, “You’re pretty.”

If I’m pretty in my son’s eyes, and he likes me, what more do I need from life?

I wish I had taken a selfie of my sweatshirt and shorts outfit, with my barely brushed hair to remind me that in the eyes of my son, beauty is clearly way more than my outward appearance.
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When I went to pick him up yesterday, he was walking back in from being outside with his class. They all hold onto a rope and walk together, and there was my son – at the front of the line – marching his way in and waving his little arm around like he was directing a band. When he saw me, his eyes lit up – “That’s my Mommy!!!” he exclaimed. As he ran over, he told a couple other kids along the way, “That’s my Mommy!”. When he finally got to me, I hugged him tight and told him that nothing in life made me more proud than being his Mommy.

I love him, I love him, I love him! He makes my heart explode.

We made it home safely. Someone was an absolute angel on the plane, but had a meltdown this morning. Actually, two people had a meltdown. Mommy misses vacation land, and I will admit to crying about it. But I will also add the caveat that there are a few other things making me an emotional mess right now. So I am going to indulge in a little Disney Dreaming about some of my favorite never forget moments:

– First bus ride was to Disney. We’ll never top that:

– The magic moment when we entered the Magic Kingdom for the first time and a parade started. Just for us:

(When people ask him what he saw at Mickey’s House, he says, “I saw a Parade!!!”)

– Suddenly at Disneyworld, Brendan wanted me to kiss all his booboos. Including when water would get in his eyes in the pool – he would call over from where ever he was and say, “My eyes! Kiss it Mommy!!” and then he would press his eye as hard as he could into my lips – then say, “Other one too!”.

– How excited he was to meet Minnie:

– Cousins walking hand in hand.

– So many laughing, hugging, sweet cousin moments:


– Brendan deciding that he only wanted Brett to push him in the stroller:

– Going on Small World one more time because the smallest cousins both wanted to sit by him (and watching Uncle Steve put his arm out to make sure Brendan didn’t jump over the side). He sings Small World now too.

– Brett making sure we got Brendan his baby giraffe:

– Going to sleep together, and waking up laughing. Thinking maybe we should move into a studio apartment.

– Meeting Lighting and Mater four times:

– Driving his own race car:

– 3D rides:

– Even the hotel hallway was magical – pointing out Beach Ball Mickey, clam shell, shovel, seahorse… more each day. And of course this thing:

– The excitement of finding lizards, and ducks that go swimming in the pool.

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– My gel manicure lasting ALL WEEK without one chip!!!

– Bubbles at Disneyworld:

– Stands selling glowy things:

– Drums:

– Watching my son fall in love with the pool, and fearlessly tackle the water slides:

– Sudden rainstorms and silly ponchos.

– His unbridled excitement over the trains at Epcot:

– Wine flights and antipasto and pizza as close to Naples as we have ever had at Via Napoli in Epcot.

– Endless snuggling:

– Brendan voluntarily saying, “Sorry”, “Thank you”, “Are you okay?” and “Ask me about my day”.

– Boys at the arcade:

– Rice Krispy treat dates with my husband as we sat quietly in the dark after the Peanut went to sleep. And filling up our unlimited drink cups at the Disney Market Place with vanilla coke.

– The talking, dancing garbage can:

– Talking about all the things we would do at Mickey’s house, and having all of them come true. I guess I just miss it all, but mostly having days stretched before us with nothing to do but be together and have fun. Part of me even misses being hot and sticky the moment we stepped outside, and that’s how I know I’m not thinking clearly. So I’ll quit my day dreaming and go have a folding party with my husband while the baby sleeps. (Leftover vacation M&M’s make it a party). I’m going to keep the spirit of ‘fun everywhere’ alive and kicking.

The thing about vacation is that it has to come to an end. If vacation was every day, then it wouldn’t be vacation. You’d eventually have to go grocery shopping and pay bills and clean your house – and you’d probably have to find a job somewhere in there too. And then the best part of vacation would cease to be – because at least for me, it’s not about where I am, it’s about unfettered time with my family. It’s about focusing only on the fun and the being together. It’s license to eat your favorite foods and wear your favorite clothes and keep the baby up snuggling a little later than usual. And the thing about Disneyworld is that it’s a land focused on families vacationing. Sure – they are in business to make money, but so is every business. What they choose to focus on is making magic happen. Making people happy. And there are a million different ways to experience Disney. When you walk into the park you walk by the big sign above, “Let the Memories begin”. I love thatPhosphodiesterase inhibitors: Also known as PDE-5, you will recognize such drugs like http://www.devensec.com/residents/Devens_Homeowners_Association_Rules_and_Regulations.pdf viagra without prescription as a prescription drug belonging to the category of Erectile Dysfunction treatment drugs. viagra was first formulated in 2033 and since then it has been introduced as primary treatment for male impotence. Whatever the problem, you will be more tadalafil cipla 20mg successful in all facets of life if you take care of the above mentioned points. You don’t have to worry cialis generika 5mg about anything because your security is guaranteed. Male modeling Male models can do anything from levitra 60 mg commercial modeling to high fashion. . I want one of those signs to hang over the front door of my home. And that is a little part of vacation land that I will bring home with me. Maybe I won’t be quite so rigid about my chores and keeping everyone on schedule. Maybe I will give in to the midnight rice krispy treat with sprinkles a little more often. Maybe I’ll let all of us have sleepovers in the same room now and then so I can hear my baby wake up laughing. And I will definitely look for more opportunities to create magical memories out of every day things. Because lets be honest, Brendan loved the train in Germany, he loved meeting Minnie Mouse – but he really loved the ducks and the lizards and getting to eat ice cream like a big boy – and having cousins to hug and play with. Those are things that you don’t have to go to Disney to enjoy. We just need a little dab of vacation pixie dust sprinkled over every day life to see things in the right perspective, and focus on the things that matter most.

So today, the experience ends, but the memories begin. We leave vacation land, but we return home – which is the place I love most of all.

Which means, you know, wild animal safaris:

A rare nap in the stoller:
(he started crying and asking for his blanket. mommy had failed to bring it, but i held his hand and he was asleep in moments.

First time roller coaster riders:

More pool time:

More proud seat climbing:

A walk over in a storm to eat dinner at the ESPN club (where they are doing a live radio show, and my nephew answered a question on the air and won a free tshirt):
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Midway games on the boardwalk:


And something my son has become known for with his cousins, I call it ‘aggressive hugging’:

He does this with whatever cousin is nearby, at least 20 times a day.
Brett is especially sweet with Brendan. Last night, there was a baby giraffe stuffed animal that Brendan couldn’t stop cuddling. Because we have many stuffed animals, Rob and I decided to put the little giraffe back with his friends. Brett was very concerned about this, and said to me several times that we should have gotten it for Brendan. We saw a store that had them today, and Brett and I snuck off so he could buy one for Brendan. Brett gave it to him, Brendan cuddled. But the sweetest part came later when Brendan was getting a little sleepy and grouchy – Brett reached back into the stroller and pulled out the stuffed animal, carefully made sure the baby blanket was wrapped just the right way, and then presented it to Brendan. Those little acts of genuine kindness from little people just slay me.

We are now closer to the end of vacation than to the start. That’s never a good feeling. Rob and I are thinking we need another week off when we get home. (only rob is afraid i’ll make him do chores)

The internets are cooperating tonight, so a few gems from the day:
The internets were not cooperating after all. It didn’t get my pictures last night, but hopefully they are there now!

– More pool time: more duck hunting at the pool, Mommy and Daddy sneaking off to take a quick ride on the adult water slide, a little girl giving Brendan one of her balloons (and she picked the blue one), Brendan learning to get in and out of the pool all by himself. (when we asked him tonight was his favorite part of the day was, he said, “swimming pool”.)

(that last picture isn’t a pool picture, it’s just cute. we pass this little seat in the hall on the way to our room. one night daddy let brendan climb on it. from then on, every time we pass he announces that he climbed on top and wants to do it again. we have also expanded our repertoire of things we point to on the carpet. we now have: beach ball mickey, bubble mickey, star fish, sea horse, turtle, shovel… it takes us a loooong time to get to our room, and everyone who passes us has a good giggle.)

– MGM Park Highlights (and a few from Epcot the day before): Seeing part of the Monsters University stage show, seeing the Disney show and watching the delight on his face as he sat clapping to the Mickey theme, and as the magic as thousands of bubbles dropped from the ceiling. He also kept trying to sit on Brett’s lap. Poor Brett. He wasn’t too upset though, at least once a day he asks us how long we are staying, and makes sure we are participating in at least most of the daily plans. More spontaneous hugs for all three cousins. Stealing Grandpa’s strawberry popsicle. Riding the Toy Story Arcade ride with Mommy and getting to wear 3D glasses. Getting caught in a storm and having to take a cramped bus home when they closed the boats due to lightning. I loved getting to cuddle up with my little man on a crowded bus with the rain pouring down outside.

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And speaking of lighting, we got to meet some special friends… Daddy was riding the Star Wars ride and we just happened on to them as we were wandering. We had to wait in line to meet them, and at one point Brendan got so excited he ran out the back of the line and up to greet them. The nice people behind us let us cut back in and when it was finally our turn, he wandered slowly around both Mater and Lightning – touching them, and peeking inside – and then he posed himself right in front of Lightning. Finally I told him it was time to go, and he said, “One more picture”. How could I ever resist that? I’m picking up a little James Dean here… Heaven help us.

The bus dropped us off at the hotel and we ate ice cream outside under a patio while it continued to rain outside. Then off to bed.

(Grandma, you’ll be happy to see that I got a vacation sized ice cream. It’s not quite as big as the scale to Brendan’s head would lead you to believe, but it was THREE SCOOPS!)

Being in the park for fireworks is a definite no. Daddy had the good idea to plant ourselves near the exit just in case. At the first boom, he hugged his arms tightly around my neck and buried his head in my shoulder. He said, “too loud!” “scary!” “I wanna go home!” and we started walking as fast as we could. As we got further away from the loud, we talked about the fact that it was just loud, but pretty in the sky and didn’t have to be scary. We pointed out that lots of people enjoyed watching but that it was a choice and we didn’t have to ever watch again. When we got inside, he was fine – but it still made Mommy and Daddy sad. We didn’t want any scary on this trip. I can hear his little breath rising and falling with the occasional deep sigh – it makes me happy that he’s sleeping right here next to me.

On a happier note, here are the photos the Disney photographers took of us on our first walk down Main Street.

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Other than scary loud noises, the day was filled with pool time and cousins and a trip around the world at Epcot with dinner in Japan. This morning Rob and I also lost the remote control to the hotel tv. We had looked everywhere and finally thought the housekeeper must have picked it up by mistake. Suddenly Brendan said, “I found it!” and as we looked over to see what he had found, he held up the remote.

Here we are with a two year old at Disneyworld. Rob and I were pretty sure that it was too soon to bring him, and I have to admit something to you. We were totally and completely wrong. All the magic we feel with this little man every day is amped up to eleven at Disneyworld.

I’m not going to lie, the plane ride was not the most fun – at least the first hour. But then he settled in and did a nice job for the rest of the flight. We rented a car, stopped off for some supplies and got to Mickey’s house early evening. He knew we were going to Mickey Mouse’s house. He had been telling everyone he came in contact with – and I wonder what his little mind thought it would be like? Probably Mickey Mouse Club? With Tootles meeting us to pick up our luggage? He was sleeping when we arrived, but woke up just long enough to find Mickey Mouse ears made out of beach balls and bubbles on the carpet. The pattern repeated itself over and over, so it took us quite a while to excitedly make our way down the hallway to our room. We enjoyed the view of ‘Mickey’s Pool’, but we were all pretty pooped, so we turned in early to get ready for the next day.

The first real day at Disney started off with a bang: we got to ride a bus. And he got to sit like a big boy – no car seat, no seat belt. I’m pretty sure we could have turned around there and his vacation would have been complete – but Mickey had more in store for us. We had been talking about all the things Mickey was planning for his visit – we told him that we had called and found out that they were making ice cream, filling up special balloons, making fireworks, planting flowers and practicing parades. And sure enough, as we first set foot in the Magic Kingdom – Mickey started the parade. The timing was so perfect that I was pretty sure that it really *was* magic. We followed the parade down to the big castle, and on the way we saw such wonders as birdies – and a guy blowing bubbles. Magic everywhere. Mommy and Daddy also got more kisses then ever, so I’m convinced that somehow Mickey knows how to make everyone’s dream come true.


Our first ride was Small World. We have noticed that when Brendan is experiencing something new, he gets a very serious face – he studies every detail and doesn’t do a lot of smiling. We kept a close eye on him, but we weren’t exactly sure what he thought of it. When the boat stopped and it was time to get off, he looked up at us and said, ‘I wanna go again!’. So happy. We road it again the next day and this time he was pointing to all the flowers and birdies and moons and hearts and even trying to sing along.

As we walked we came across a splashing water area right in the middle of the street. Brendan grabbed my hand and said, ‘Mommy – let’s go!’. So of course we did. It doesn’t really sound too bad to get wet in the 90 degree Florida heat.

Then it was onto Dumbo. We got to ride in an Elephant, and Brendan got to drive him up and down. There was no mistaking that he liked that one.


We went on Peter Pan next – and that one was a little dark for our boy. He never got really scared, but at the darkest part of the ride, he said, “I wanna go home”. I felt so sad. Daddy and I held him tight and reminded him that when we’re all together, we’re home – and when the ride was over, he announced that he wanted to go again. Relief. Though we did not go again. We have figured out that the experiential rides are not his favorite – he’s more of a thrill seeker.

Our boy was getting tired, and the cousins had arrived, so we made our way out of the park, picking up a Mickey shaped ice cream sandwich, and a balloon with blue Mickey ears inside on the way out. He fell asleep on the bus ride home, and took a nap before we visited the cousins.

By way of introduction, let me say that the first evening when we asked what his favorite part of the day was, it was the message goofy left for him on the phone. Day one he loved the fireworks most of all. And on day 2 – a day filled with more rides and swimming pools and sand castles and ice cream, when we asked Brendan what his favorite part of the day was, he said, “Brett, Brady and Michael”. This boy loves his cousins, and they love him. From the moment they saw each other they have been a pile of laughter and hugs and running and jumping. Each cousin wants to sit next to Brendan at meals and on rides, and Brendan is very happy to oblige. Rob and I ate an entire meal while Brett entertained, even letting Brendan steal his fries. So the cousin love continues. They started out with a trip to the arcade and one of the games involved sitting on a motorcycle. Brendan stayed there pretty much the entire time we were in the arcade. I need to think of ways to make motorcycles seem less exciting by the time he’s old enough to ride. Grandma – no showing him pictures of Mommy on the scooter!

(I particularly love that last picture because Brady came over and asked me to take a picture of him with Brendan.)

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The day kept going with a walk over to Epcot. We watched the Turtle Show with Crush from Finding Nemo, and Brendan has been saying, “Dooood” ever since. The boys all sat on the floor, and Rob and I sat with them. My favorite part of the show was how Brendan kept leaning over to pat or hug his cousins throughout the show. And whatever they did, he did. If they raised their hand to ask a question, so did he. I kept wondering what he would do if they called on him. Knowing my son, he probably would have asked a question!

Then we got to meet Mickey, Pluto and Minnie. We had seen the characters in the parade, but we weren’t quite sure what he would do when he saw them up close. The first thing he did was run up to Mickey and give him a hug. He was SO excited. And we have definitely confirmation that Minnie is his favorite. Not only did he hug her and not let go – but he gave her a kiss on the nose. The next morning he announced to us, “I love Minnie. I gave her a kiss on her nose.” It’s ironic that we had to miss Harper’s birthday party today, and she had a Minnie Mouse theme. Maybe it’s all tied together…


(I love the pictures of him getting so excited for his turn to meet Minnie – and how he didn’t want to stop hugging her. Grandpa wanted to get a picture with her, and he ran right in to join them. When I was a little girl, I went running across the street at Disneyland to get her autograph and fell down on the street and skinned my knee. I remember crying for Mommy with tears filling my eyes so I couldn’t see – suddenly I was getting a hug, and when I finally looked up, it was Minnie who was hugging me. Minnie is pretty special.)

A storm was threatening, so we made our way closer to the hotel, but went to Grandma and Grandpa’s balcony where we could see the fireworks. Again, we weren’t sure how he would react – but he loved them. When we opened up the drapes this morning he looked out and said, ‘Fireworks?’ ‘BOOM!’. We are going to keep him up late enough to see them in the park one of these nights, but tonight was not the night. He was pooped.

The morning at the pool wiped him out. He loves the water. Brady and Michael had brought their old float for him to wear – and he wore it for about 15 minutes before deciding that he was done. I think if his cousins were wearing one, he would have worn one too – but he wants to do EXACTLY what they are doing. He bravely went down the small water slide all by himself (with Mommy or Daddy at the bottom to catch him) – and wanted to do it again and again. He built sand castles with shovels and pales – and he even decided he wanted to start jumping off the side into Daddy’s arms. My little adrenaline junky. A short nap, more rides, a light up wand and another ice cream finished up the day nicely and then he was ready for bed. But since we are all sleeping in the same room, he takes advantage of our undivided attention for extra hugs (always works on Mommy) and tonight he started clapping and laughing – and then told me that he had sand on his feet and needed help. There wasn’t any sand on his feet, but as I wiped his toes he laughed and told me it tickled. I love it when we all sleep in the same room because he wakes up laughing and wants to snuggle in bed with us.


I wasn’t sure we could squeeze in any more joy into our already joy packed life – but I forgot that vacation land, no matter where we are – when we can just spend time together as a family – is always even better. I thought I would miss the pre-baby days of sleeping in, and reading a book by the pool all day – but somehow chasing after a little person with a bottle of sunscreen is even better. Tonight we watched the Monsters show where they collected laughter to run their city. Apparently I run on Brendan’s laughter and love – with extra jolts from hugs and kisses. Of course the memories and pictures are my favorite souvenier – but today I got one more special one. We were waiting for the bus (hooray!) and Brendan walked over and picked something up off the ground. He handed it to me and said, “I heart you”. It was a heart shaped leaf. Of course my two year old son doesn’t know that I’ve been collecting heart shaped leaves and rocks for years – even finding a similar leaf on my honeymoon. I have pictures of heart shaped pumpkins and banana peppers and even lint and other such wonders. I don’t know why he picked it up, and why he handed it to me saying that exact phrase, but I can only believe it’s part of the magic.

More tomorrow.

(and Mom, if this wasn’t enough – there are more pictures here.)

Last weekend was a whirlwind and I never really caught up, but since this has become my online journal of Brendan cuteness, there are a few things I must write down before they escape my brain:

Mama was treated to several bed time stories of her own:

– One night as we were sitting in his rocker talking about the day, he was sure that he NEEDED something on his bookshelf before he went to bed. He was pointing but I couldn’t see anything that would be of interest to him. We walked over to look, and he picked up a silver heart that chimes when you shake it. I always explain to Brendan that this heart is very special: Grandma gave it to me because she loves me so much, and that I gave it to him because I love him so much. He knows it carries extra love, and he decided that he needed to take it to bed that night. As I left the room, I heard the gentle chimes coming from his crib.

– Another night, he sang to me the first two lines of “Twinkle Twinkle” perfectly.

– We have been working on “Sorry”. He is so good at “please”, “scooze me”, and most of the time, “thank you” – but “sorry” is a tough one. We’ve talked about the fact that everyone occasionally does things that they regret – and that when those things happen, saying sorry helps the person to realize that you didn’t mean to do it. It hasn’t sunk in. One night we were sitting in the rocker when he was particularly tired and he said the only naughty words he knows: “Go Away”. I calmly told him that it hurt Mommy’s feelings, and immediately a quiet little “sorry” popped out of his mouth. I can assure you that it healed mommy’s hurt feelings immediately. That same night as I put him in bed, he told me “need more hug”. As I bent down to hug him he told me, “no – need more hug over there” (pointing to the rocker). I am the worlds biggest sucker for hugs and this line will always work on his mom until the end of time. Lets hope he doesn’t wise up in his teenage years.

Other non-bedtime cutes:

– I taught him one of my favorite songs from when I was a little girl – the 3 little fishies song. We play with three little fishies in the bath tub as I sing, and he has started to sing along with me. Especially the “CHU!” part. I love it. He has been really into singing recently, but still lots of times when Mommy sings, he tells me, “no singing Mommy”. So sad. He and Mommy have even started doing rock shows – and finally he and Daddy decided to do one for me. Things got a little out of hand when one of the musicians started attacking the audience:

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– We always heard that when you get a second dog, that dog will pick up all the bad manors from the first dog. Nobody told us that was true of children, but now when Chelsea barks at dogs that dare to walk on our lawn, Brendan barks along with her. Lord help us.

– The other day in the car, Rob called his Mom. We asked Brendan if he wanted to say hello and he said no. We asked him why and he said, “I’m busy”. We laughed, even though we shouldn’t have. Later we asked him if he was ready to talk yet and he told us that he was “still busy”. I have tried to think of where he picked that up! Rob and I never tell him we are ‘busy’ but maybe at daycare they talk about needing to get busy? Either way, hilarious.

– One day I was putting him into his car seat, and he started brushing my bangs to the side. I brush his hair to the side ALL the time, and thought it was so sweet that he would lovingly do the same to me. I usually don’t refer to myself as “mom”, but when Brendan wakes up these days, he says, “Mom?” “Moooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmm?” so I guess it’s starting to feel more natural.

– We went over to Frank and Jess’s house last weekend, and our small boy enjoyed their large couch very much.

– We also went out for frozen yogurt and Mister Big Boy sat at the table while I got his treat, and then proceeded to eat most of it all by himself, in a mostly non-messy fashion.

That last face is the “no more pictures” face. There will be plenty more pictures soon – The Gianino Family is going on vacation. Get used to the pictures, kid.

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I think we’re going to need a bigger suitcase.

Tonight, as Rob and I sat at the park, eating ice cream in the car with our son, we had the firm realization that there is another person in our household. Not just a baby who needs to be taken care of, but a person who has his own thoughts and feelings, likes and dislikes, things he wants to do, things he thinks are funny. A person who can hold a vanilla/chocolate swirled ice cream cone and eat it all on his own without spilling much at all. I guess that’s what happens when you hit the 25 month mark.

He is my big boy. And he was so good this weekend. He walked beside me as we shopped, and listened when I reminded him to stay close and not run off. When he was getting antsy in the stroller, I asked him if he could sit still just until Mommy had paid for our things, and then I would let him run around when we got outside – and he did just as I asked him to do. You can be sure that Mommy let him run around when she was done – and even ride on the race car ride. Speaking of race cars, if you want to know what is a race car, and what is not a race car – just ask Brendan. He has very strong opinions on the matter. When we are driving, he will announce which cars ARE race cars, and which cars ARE NOT race cars. One of his books has the nerve to say that there are SIX race cars on the page, but Brendan always points out that one of them is NOT a race car.

He goes SO FAST on his bicycle. His teachers told us, “we have learned that Brendan likes to run and ride fast”. He doesn’t try and keep it a secret. He also really used his sidewalk chalk this weekend – and made the same little marks all over the sidewalk. I’m certain he thought he was writing. I’m sure he was – I just couldn’t quite read it. He does read to me all the time. Apparently I’ve never really looked closely, but receipts have a lot of interesting information. Many times they say, ‘that is NOT safe’. Perhaps my fearless boy hears that a little too often.

My big boy also got something very exciting – his first pillow. He loves it so much that he can’t wait to get into bed and snuggle up each night. It makes a mom feel guilty for not having installed the pillow earlier. I didn’t want him to feel punished for wanting to climb in bed, so I sat down on the floor the first night to read him his book. He pointed over to his little wooden chair and said in the most loving voice, “sit down!”. So Mommy got to sit in a tiny red chair and read him his book, as he sat curled up under his pillow. Makes me excited for the day when we graduate to the big boy bed and Mommy can curl up with him.

He woke up from his nap this weekend and called, “Mom?” in a very matter of fact voice that sounded as if he had been up for hours and finally was ready to ask me a question. When I walked in, he was standing and announced to me (again in that matter of fact voice), “I take my socks off.” and proceeded to hand me his socks, “here go”. I will always laugh when I think about that. It’s not about new words anymore – he just talks. He also sings, which is my favorite. Sometimes he goes into his closet to play the real electric guitar that is sitting in there on a stand. He sings along too. Be still my heart. Today he also put on his graduation cap and started singing, “yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me”. They should really think about retiring Pomp and Circumstance and going with the pirate song – it totally worked.

He has a new favorite movie: Rio. Such a cute movie. Catchy soundtrack. No scary parts. Sometimes he likes to watch it with snacks. (on his lounger of course.)

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He has also decided that he likes to eat at the table. Not in the booster seat, just at the table. And he likes to use one of Daddy’s “Go Giants” cups for his water. And by golly, my two year old is tall enough to sit at the table. If he were a little less wiggly, we’d do away with the highchair all together.

When I uploaded these camera pics to google, they made an animation out of them. So clever, google…

And also, Friday was crazy hair day at school. Daddy did a knock-out job. The ladies swooned.

Hindsight is awesome. There was a period in my life where time dragged by so slowly. Every second seemed excruciating and I was convinced that I would never feel light and carefree again. If only I could have seen the future and known that one day the moments would fly by so fast. If only I could have known that there would come a time where I would wish that I could have a few extra hours in each day, and I would work to linger a little longer in each moment. If I knew I would feel this way, it would have made those hard moments feel a little less painful. Now I have a new kind of pain – the kind that ties your heart up in knots because you are so in love and want to shout it from the mountain top if only you could find words that would fit.

So with the few hours in each summer day, we’ve been doing more lingering. We’ve had lots of moments like this:

We finally realized that we could use the sprinklers at our own house, rather than poaching the neighbors lawns. Uncle Darin even comes out to turn his on so that we have two whole lawns worth of water wonderland. Watching the joy on his face clears away the cobwebs of the week.

Daddy also made a brilliant find – a diner at our local airport with outside seating, perfect for watching the little planes take off and land.

And then there was the reunion with Baboo – she hasn’t transitioned to the new room yet and they truly miss each other.

I was proud of Grandma, she called the other day and said, “I’m having withdrawl – we’re coming up.” We were happy to welcome them, even if it was only for a few hours. Knowing that work has been hard, they came bearing cobler and cookies and chicken salad for sandwiches. All foods that start with “C” and stand for “Comfort Food”. They also brought up some very special gifts. Grandma had been busy on her sewing machine, and Grandpa helped out with some designs on the computer. The first box held his very own construction vest. One that fits – made custom for him:

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Brendan does not like to change his clothes. He doesn’t like to take clothes off, and he doesn’t like to put them on. But when he saw his superhero outfit, a silky reversible cape with a lightning bolt on one side, and a star on the other, and a matching “B” shirt – he came running over to put it on. And then he flew:

And last but not least, Brendan made a friend while we were out shopping:

After this happy little person goes to bed each night, Daddy and I stay up planning how to create as much magic as we can for him during his first trip to Disneyworld. I used to worry about ‘never having a relaxing vacation again’ after we became parents. Little did I know that vacations are the most fun when you get to show new things to the tiny little man who holds your heart. Hindsight is awesome.

As I was talking to Grandma and Grandpa tonight, I realized there were a whole bunch of things I didn’t want to forget:
– When he is downstairs, and hears me up in his room through the baby monitor, he walks over and starts talking to me through the monitor like it’s a walkie talkie.
– He woke up from a nap and suddenly yelled, “I want water!!!”.
– We went to the annual Fourth of July picnic at Skywalker Ranch for the first time since Rob and I have been married. It was sooooo hot, and right during nap time. But awesome. BBQ, salad potluck, gelato ice cream truck, 3 legged races, egg toss, pie eating contest, swimming in Ewok Pond, horse drawn buggy rides… so great. Brendan particularly loved “Rocky and Don” and talked about their “Clippity Cloppity” hooves all weekend.

– Neighborhood sparklers (and glow sticks!) on the Fourth:

– We went to the fair and did all the important things: saw the animals, had an ice cream cone, and rode his very first carousel. I remember doing the same with my Daddy, and waving to Mommy as we went by.
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– I went to Disney for a day of meetings on my birthday, and a woman I have never even met made me cupcakes. Wow. Then they insisted I bring some home to share with my family, which I happily did.

– He loves to hear people call me “Lori” and starts saying, “Looooleeee” but then always adds, “No Lolee – MOMMY!” I also love it when Daddy and Brendan and I are in the store and he sees me in another section and yells, “MOMMMY!!!!” When I look over he has the biggest happiest smile like he hasn’t seen me in days.
– He is getting so good on his tricycle – and looooves to wear his helmet. Today we were out on a ride and he even went up a hill on his own. He pointed up at something and said, ‘COW!’ and when I looked up I realized it was a deer. The three of us watched each other for a long time.
– He played “Monster” last night with Daddy and me. He put his little hands out in front of him, made a scary monster face and said, ‘ROARRRRR!’.

– He ate lots of whoopie pies from the Uncle’s Wedding, and had a major short nap/sugarcrash/meltdown. I’ll skip over most of the details and say that he ended up sleeping in our bed for a few hours. He cuddled right in on top of my face – and then finally took up his position making an ‘H’ across the bed. It’s the very nicest way to lose a night of sleep. I love this “before” video. I wanted to capture the fact that he was dancing around the house saying, “Brian DinDin Brian DinDin!” right before he went over to their house to be their ring bearer. He clearly didn’t want me taking a movie, but I love that I captured a leg hug, and him telling Mommy that he’s not a baby – he’s a big boy. Sigh…

As many people saw and laughed about at Brendan’s birthday party, we have a “Summer Fun List” posted on our fridge. Things that feel like summer to me and to Rob, and that we want to try to squeeze in for our son (and for us too!) wherever we can. We may not make it through all of them, but it’s the happiest to do list of ever.

This weekend we got to cross off a biggie: sprinklers. In a totally impromptu moment of walking down our street with the Uncles, Brendan decided to test out the sprinklers on some unknown neighbors lawn. Luckily they weren’t home, because if they had been, they would have seen two adults and one child running around their yard like they owned the place. It was awesome.

We also got to witness two marriages this weekend – the first on Saturday at a gorgeous farm house in Petaluma. It was a boy that Rob had hired and moved out to the bay area – and a bride that he met because of that move. A fun event at a beautiful location.
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The second was on Sunday at the San Francisco courthouse, and we had not even RSVP’d. After 12 years of commitment, The Uncles were finally able to make honest men out of each other. They waited in line all day, and then let us sweep in to be part of the happy moment. It was so special, and we were honored to be part of their day.

Watching The Uncles get married was not on our summer fun list, but I’m sure glad it was part of our summer.

Tuesday we had a two year check-up with Dr. Bokser. First of all, he couldn’t stop saying, “I wanna see Dr. Bokser”. Even when Dr. Bokser was right there in the room with us. I have to say, she’s pretty great. She lets him play with the ‘flashlight’ that she uses to look in his ears, she lets him listen with the stethoscope. She also let him color on her prescription pad and choose a sticker when he was done. Turns out our big boy weighs 27.5 pounds, putting him in the 50th percentile, and he is 37 inches tall putting him in the 98th percentile. We’re growing a blond string bean. If we use the adage that you double the height at 2 to get his eventual height, then he will be 6’2″. Finally, someone who can reach the top shelf!!! The one bummer of the visit was that he had to get one shot in his sweet little thigh. They said it was one of the less owie ones, though and Brendan was very brave and although he gave a very disapproving look, he did not cry.

There was only one logical thing to do with the rest of our afternoon off: get ice cream.

We also threw a few pennies in the fountain and made wishes. It was a little rainy out, and at one point while I was holding him, I started to slip. He said, “uh-oh!” and I said, ‘Mommy almost fell down, didn’t she?’ and then he gave me the biggest tightest hug around my neck. I love how he looks out for me. The other day he also told Daddy to stop poking me in the ear while we were driving. After our fun wandering around, we went home to ride his new bike. The bike was his birthday gift from Mommy and Daddy and this was Sunday when we gave it to him:

We didn’t go riding on Monday because we went out for pizza, and this is him on Tuesday:

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When is the Tour De France? I think we’ll be ready.
(I apologize for Mom’s annoying and loud commentary in every video. I can’t help myself.)

I’m emotionally spent. I realize that could come off sounding negative, but I don’t mean it that way. It’s like I spent the last two weeks skiing or swimming or hiking really steep mountains and now I’m done. I’m happy and content – and also in need of a long epsom salt bath for my heart. Mom’s 80th birthday, Brendan’s second birthday, Meredith’s visit – all amazing. But when I’m planning things like this I tend to focus only on the people I’m doing things for, and it’s not until it’s all over that I check in with how I’ve been doing. The one that surprised me most was Meredith’s visit – I was so excited for her to come, but turns out having the birthmother of your child stay at your home for the first time is kindof a big deal. I wanted her to feel so loved and so welcome. I wanted her to feel like she made a good choice. I wanted her to get to know the amazing little person that Brendan has become. Now that he can speak and understand, I wanted him to get to know Meredith in a whole new way. Turns out I also carefully watched my son’s reactions, looking to see if there was some bond that only nature could provide – something he could never experience with me. That surprised me. I didn’t expect that reaction, as it had never before entered my mind. All these thoughts kept me preoccupied the first 24 hours – but then my heart grew and expanded in the ways it needed to, and I was able to relax and enjoy the visit thoroughly. It was so fitting that the first morning glory blooms of the summer appeared exactly the day Meredith arrived. They are my favorite flower because they are so strikingly beautiful – and each blossom only survives one day. It’s the perfect reminder for me to enjoy the beauty of each moment, because it will never come again.

Meredith was amazing. She was family and honored guest and celebrity princess all rolled into one. She helped in so many ways that I wonder how we would have gotten everything done without her. She was totally in tune to the way I pictured things – and we were able to prepare for the party in record time. She and Rob and Grandma and Grandpa and The Uncles and I all formed an unspoken partnership in hosting a party that made my son happy, and kept our guests entertained. What more could I ask for? Meredith played with Brendan, joked with me, walked the dog, and even loaded and started the dishwasher the morning after the party without Rob or I even knowing she did it. Monday at work, I caught two people who had been at the party talking about how much she did to help. I felt a little bad that we put her to work rather than giving her a vacation, but I also know that sometimes that’s what happens with family.

My goal for the party was to have everything ready, but nothing set up until Brendan went down for his nap. And then I wanted him to wake up to a construction wonderland. It totally happened. Rob procured 24 GIANT construction cones, and picked up 36 balloons. We put out rocks and “bricks” and trucks and a red wheelbarrow that may or may not have been purchased specifically for the party. We had ice cream served from an ice chest created from Grandpa’s old toolbox, and toppings and chocolate ‘spare tire’ donuts that all got melty in the heat – but people ate them anyway. Everyone had hardhats and tool belts, and Brendan had a special birthday boy outfit including “scoop shoes” that he hasn’t taken off since. He woke up from his nap just before the party started and when I told him it was time for his birthday party to start – he got it. We had been talking about it for weeks. We had looked at his shirt and shoes for the party many times, we talked about the big ‘scoop’ on his invitation. He knew Grandma was making him a special cake and the night before his party, he even asked that it be a “scoop cake”. (Luckily, Grandma was way ahead of him on that one.) We got him dressed and went downstairs – and he walked right out to the backyard and started playing with his trucks. He put on his hat and vest, and he enjoyed the heck out of his party.

Grandma made an amazing cake. As usual. But this year, her Grandson was old enough to appreciate it. He had so much to say about that cake. He looked at all the details – the scoops in little scenes all over the cake – the cows in their little pasture, the brown puppy that looked like Chelsea – the birds – everything. He loved it. And I loved that Grandma got to stand there and watch his amazement. When it was time to cut the cake, I knew he would be ready – we had been singing ‘Happy Birthday’ for weeks. He had a musical card that played it over and over and over again. It is his favorite song. But when everyone started singing, he got shy and buried his little face in Mommy’s neck. Later I asked him if he liked it when everyone sang, and he confidently said, “yeah!”. I talked to him about closing his eyes and making a wish, and he blew out every one of his candles one by one. After each one, everyone would applaud and he would yell, “Yaaaaaayyyy!” There were two candles on his main cake, and one special candle that Uncle Darin had saved from Grandma’s 80th birthday cake that we put on Brendan’s own personal cake (Grandma claims he will ALWAYS get his own birthday cake, though I don’t seem to remember this tradition as I was growing up….).

Presents – I always forget that people will bring them. It’s very nice, but it’s not why I invite people to his party. I never know what to do – do we open them in front of people? Do we save them for later? Last year we waited, but several people specifically asked that we open their gifts. This year we went ahead and opened them. I don’t think I will do that again. It was rushed – thanks to Miss Charlie who simply couldn’t wait for Brendan to open all his gifts as fast as possible. And Brendan really preferred to enjoy each of his gifts for a while as soon as he opened them. He didn’t want to rush – and I think it was a little overwhelming. My favorite moment of the gifts came as Brendan went to the table that held the presents and brought over another one that he needed help opening – it was a container of plastic wrap that had been sitting out to package some to-go cake. He really thought it should be opened, and when somebody, I can’t remember who, helped him pull out a small piece of plastic wrap for him to see that was all it was – he began to cheer just as he did for every other present. That’s my boy. I loved him even more in that moment.

As the party wound down, the wheel barrow rides began. It was exactly how I pictured it, and I was glad Brendan was creating the same memories that I have from my childhood. There is nothing like a wheel barrow ride around your own back yard. Daddy claimed that it had to go right after the party, but I think we may get to keep it around a little longer. Besides, Uncle Brian said he would take it off our hands.
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Brendan was up most of the night following his big party. Probably about as much as he kept us awake that first night two years ago. I will never forget how Rob and I got his tiny little diaper changed, his tiny little undershirt on – and put that swaddled little bundle into the rolling hospital bassinet. Then we looked at each other and said, “now what?”. We went to bed, and hours later heard the first little cries of a son who needed us. The fact that Brendan needed us in a similar manor 2 years later was special in a strange kind of way – other than the fact that we were completely exhausted. It was clearly all the excitement of the day, so I finally just pulled him into our bed and he slept peacefully in the center, while Rob and I fought to stay on the slim side lane left to us. How can such a tiny baby take up so much bed?

The next morning I watched Meredith cut a piece of birthday cake for breakfast and my first thought was, ‘there is a girl after my own heart’. My second thought was ‘this would be a great photo opportunity’. So I invited B over to share some cake with her and he happily accepted. While it was meant mainly as a ploy for photos, he ate almost the entire piece of cake. Luckily, Grandma made a cake big enough to feed an army, so we still had some left. I wasn’t sure how he would feel about chocolate, so Grandma made two white layers, with one chocolate layer in the middle. Turns out the chocolate was his favorite part.

On our last night with Meredith, we took her to all you can eat pizza night at Goat Hill. A family favorite. Between party prep and wanting to share all our favorites with Meredith, we ate out a lot. I didn’t realize how much until Brendan decided that he wouldn’t even eat a bite of pizza, but instead only wanted tomatoes from the salad bar. This morning I took Meredith to the airport in the light drizzle that ended up delaying her flight long enough to disrupt her connecting flight too. As I pulled away, I sent her a quick text reminding her that I’d be happy to collect her and bring her back to our house so she could try again tomorrow. Secretly I hoped she would take me up on it. I wasn’t just sad that the fun of birthday weekend was over, I really missed her. That surprised me. I didn’t expect that reaction either. But of course, missing family after a visit is the nicest kind of melancholy.

There are lots more birthday pictures. I think Grandma knows where to find them, but in case she forgets, they are here. I think Brendan will remember at least flashes of this weekend, in the same way that I startle my parents with the vivid memories of my early childhood. And even if he doesn’t, I’ll always be happy to tell him all about it.